Relational expectations are the ideas that people have about what they want from their romantic partner or partnership. These expectations can change over time and in response to experiences. Separation is one common experience that can affect these expectations. When someone is repeatedly separated from their partner or partners, such as when they spend extended periods apart due to work or travel, it can lead to changes in their relational expectations. This can happen for several reasons.
Separation can lead to increased communication between partners. During a long-distance relationship, couples may communicate more frequently than they would if they were living together full-time. This increased communication can help build trust and closeness, but it can also create new expectations around how much communication should be expected in future relationships.
One person may come to expect frequent check-ins and updates from their partner during normal times, which could be difficult to maintain once they are back together again.
Separation can lead to increased appreciation for physical intimacy. Couples who are physically distant may miss each other sexually and emotionally, leading them to cherish the moments they do get together even more. This can lead to an increased expectation of regular physical contact in future relationships.
This can also lead to frustration if those needs aren't met.
Separation can lead to a greater understanding of individual needs. Spending time apart can give each partner space to reflect on what they need from the relationship. They may realize that they value alone time or different activities than their partner does. As a result, their expectations may shift towards finding a partner with similar interests or values.
Fourth, separation can lead to increased emotional resilience. Couples who have been through multiple separations may become better at handling stress and adversity. This can lead to higher expectations around independence and self-sufficiency in future relationships. It can also lead to greater tolerance for differences and disagreements, as partners learn to work through challenges without relying on their partner as much.
Separation can lead to increased appreciation for each other. The experience of being separated can make couples appreciate the good times and good qualities of their partner more deeply. This can increase their expectations for positive experiences and healthy communication in future relationships.
Relational expectations can evolve over time and in response to repeated separations. These changes can range from small shifts in communication style to major adjustments in lifestyle preferences. By recognizing how separation has impacted our expectations, we can be more prepared to handle future relationships and communicate openly with our partners about what we want and need.
How do relational expectations evolve in response to repeated separations?
Relational expectations are formed from previous experiences of separation and reunion, which may lead individuals to develop certain patterns of behavior that shape their perception of relationships. In other words, if an individual has repeatedly experienced separations and reunions with loved ones throughout their life, they may become more accustomed to these cycles and expect them to continue in future relationships as well.