Trauma has been shown to have a profound impact on many aspects of human life, including relationships. One particularly devastating effect is that it can erode the feeling of being "in sync" with another person, which is often referred to as "shared sacred center." This term refers to the deep connection that two individuals share when they are in love, where they feel like they are one unit rather than two separate entities. Traumatic experiences can disrupt this sense of unity, leaving partners feeling isolated from each other and unable to fully connect. In this article, we will explore how trauma erases the shared sacred center between lovers and what steps couples can take to rebuild it.
How does trauma affect the brain?
When someone experiences trauma, their body goes into survival mode, preparing them to fight or flee from danger. This response is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, which releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones cause physical changes in the body, such as an increase in heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure. They also alter mental processes, making it difficult for people to think clearly or process emotions rationally.
This stress response becomes chronic, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Trauma causes structural changes in the brain. The amygdala, which plays a key role in processing fear and threat responses, may become hyperactive, causing individuals to react more strongly to potential dangers. Other areas of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex (which regulates emotions), may be underdeveloped due to reduced activity. These changes can make it harder for people to regulate their emotions, communicate effectively, and form strong attachments with others.
How does trauma impact relationships?
Trauma can have a profound impact on relationships, particularly romantic ones. It can lead to feelings of mistrust, suspicion, and isolation, making it difficult for partners to feel safe with each other. When one partner has experienced trauma, they may withdraw emotionally or become overly protective, creating tension between them. They may also struggle with intimacy and sexual desire, leading to communication breakdowns and resentment. In some cases, trauma can even lead to infidelity or divorce.
One of the main ways that trauma affects relationships is by erasing the shared sacred center. This occurs when traumatic experiences cause partners to perceive themselves and their loved one as separate entities rather than interconnected beings. They may feel distant from each other, unable to fully connect emotionally or physically. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and loneliness, even if both parties are still technically together.
Rebuilding the shared sacred center
Despite these challenges, there are steps couples can take to rebuild the shared sacred center after experiencing trauma. The first step is to seek professional help, either individually or as a couple. A therapist can provide support, guidance, and tools to manage symptoms of PTSD and improve communication skills.
Couples counseling can help partners understand each other's perspectives and work through underlying issues.
Another important step is to practice self-care and healing. This includes activities such as exercise, meditation, and journaling, which can reduce stress levels and promote relaxation. It also involves being gentle with oneself and others, recognizing that recovery takes time and effort. Partners should avoid blaming each other for past actions or expecting instant results.
Couples can focus on creating rituals and routines that reinforce their connection. This might involve regular date nights, hobbies they enjoy together, or intimate conversations about their day-to-day lives. By building trust and intimacy over time, partners can reestablish their bond and restore the feeling of unity.
Trauma can erase the sense of being "in sync" between lovers, leaving them feeling isolated and disconnected.
With patience, empathy, and commitment, couples can rebuild this shared sacred center and create a strong, resilient relationship. By seeking help, practicing self-care, and engaging in healthy habits together, they can overcome these challenges and build a foundation of love and understanding.
How does trauma erase the sense of shared sacred center between lovers?
Trauma can have a profound impact on relationships, particularly romantic ones. When one partner experiences trauma, it can cause them to feel isolated and alone, even from their closest loved ones. This feeling of isolation can be further exacerbated by feelings of shame or guilt associated with the experience. In the context of a romantic relationship, this means that both partners may feel as though they are no longer connected on an intimate level.