Soldiers face many challenges in the course of their military service, including the unique challenge of maintaining relational secrecy. Relational secrecy is defined as the practice of keeping important aspects of one's personal life hidden from others, especially those who are close to them. In this article, we will explore how soldiers manage the psychological tensions that arise from relational secrecy and how they cope with these tensions in the context of their daily lives.
How do soldiers navigate the psychological tension created by relational secrecy?
Relational secrecy can be a double-edged sword for soldiers. On the one hand, it allows them to protect sensitive information about themselves, their families, and their missions from people who might seek to harm them or exploit them. On the other hand, it can create a sense of isolation and alienation from those who are closest to them, such as family members and friends back home. To navigate this tension, soldiers often develop coping strategies that allow them to balance their need for intimacy with their need for security. These strategies may include:
1. Maintaining strict boundaries: Soldiers may set clear limits on what they share with others about their work and personal lives, even with loved ones. This helps them avoid disclosing classified information or sharing too much about their experiences.
2. Keeping open communication channels: While soldiers may not share all details of their lives, they can still stay connected with loved ones through regular phone calls, emails, and social media updates.
3. Focusing on the mission: By focusing on their duties and responsibilities, soldiers can distract themselves from the loneliness and isolation caused by relational secrecy. They may also find solace in camaraderie among fellow soldiers.
4. Seeking support: Many military personnel seek counseling services or join support groups to help manage the emotional challenges of serving in a high-stress environment.
5. Reframing: Some soldiers may reframe their situation by seeing themselves as part of a larger mission or purpose, rather than an individual struggling with isolation.
What are the consequences of relational secrecy?
The psychological effects of relational secrecy can be significant, both in the short term and long term. In the immediate aftermath of deployment, soldiers may experience feelings of anxiety, depression, and anger.
These feelings may persist and interfere with their ability to form close relationships with family members and friends back home. Relationship breakdowns, substance abuse, and other mental health issues have been linked to relational secrecy in some cases. To mitigate these risks, soldiers need to develop strategies for managing their own psychological tensions and finding ways to connect with others who understand their experiences.
How do soldiers maintain intimacy despite relational secrecy?
Soldiers face unique challenges when it comes to maintaining intimate relationships while also protecting sensitive information.
Many soldiers report that they are able to find ways to stay connected with loved ones through creative means such as using code words, sharing mementos, or keeping photos and letters hidden from prying eyes. These strategies allow them to preserve a sense of closeness without compromising security.
Many couples find ways to communicate through technology or make plans for reunions once service is over. For those who cannot find ways around the secrecy, it may take years of therapy and open communication to rebuild trust and connection with loved ones.
How do soldiers manage the psychological tension arising from relational secrecy?
According to researchers, the management of psychological tension can be influenced by various factors related to relational secrecy. One way is through cognitive processing, where individuals can choose to either focus on their fears or hopes associated with the secret. This may help them regulate emotions and cope with stress better. Another approach involves creating a sense of meaningfulness and purpose for their actions, which can provide motivation and support during challenging situations.