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THE DOUBLE STANDARD OF EMOTIONAL TOUGHNESS: HOW SOLDIERS STRUGGLE WITH EXPECTATIONS OF MASCULINITY

Soldiers are expected to be physically and mentally strong, able to handle difficult situations, and show little emotion.

This can make it challenging to express their needs for love, support, affection, and acceptance from others. Some may feel that showing vulnerability would diminish their masculinity or weaken their ability to perform well under pressure. But studies suggest that a balance between strength and vulnerability is key to success in combat and healthy relationships. How do soldiers navigate these expectations?

Let's define what toughness means in military culture. Toughness refers to resilience, discipline, determination, perseverance, courage, and physical and mental fortitude. It involves pushing through pain and discomfort, facing fear head-on, and staying focused even when things get difficult. Soldiers who exhibit toughness are respected and admired.

Let's look at how emotional vulnerability is viewed in society. Vulnerability often carries negative connotations - being open and honest about feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, or fear can seem like a sign of weakness. In many cases, men in particular are socialized to avoid expressing their emotions and bottle them up instead. This can lead to depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, which can affect job performance and personal relationships.

Research has shown that emotional vulnerability is essential for building trust and intimacy with others. Soldiers must be able to communicate their needs clearly and effectively in order to form strong bonds with comrades and partners. Emotional vulnerability allows them to ask for help when they need it, to receive support and understanding from those around them, and to feel loved and accepted.

So how do soldiers reconcile these conflicting expectations? Some find ways to show vulnerability within the confines of traditional masculine norms.

They may talk about their experiences on the battlefield without explicitly discussing their feelings. Others seek out peers or family members who understand their unique circumstances and offer a safe space to share their thoughts and emotions. Many soldiers also rely on religious or spiritual beliefs to cope with stress and maintain balance.

Soldiers face a complex set of challenges balancing societal expectations of toughness with the need for emotional vulnerability. By recognizing the importance of both qualities, embracing authenticity and communication, and finding healthy ways to express themselves, they can build stronger relationships and thrive personally and professionally.

How do soldiers reconcile societal expectations of toughness with the need for emotional vulnerability?

The ability to reconcile societal expectations of toughness with the need for emotional vulnerability is a complex and multifaceted process that requires individuals to navigate various psychological, emotional, and sociocultural factors. For soldiers, who often face unique challenges related to their occupation, this task can be particularly difficult.

#militarylife#mentalhealth#emotionalresilience#toughness#vulnerability#masculinity#relationships