Desire is an internal feeling that is triggered when one experiences pleasure from something they enjoy doing. This could be anything from eating chocolate to watching movies to having sex. It's a natural reaction that occurs without any outside influence. Obligation, on the other hand, is a sense of duty or responsibility that one feels towards another person or situation. For example, if your partner asks you for a favor, it would be considered an obligation to help them out even if you don't necessarily want to do so. When it comes to sexual encounters, desire can lead to an increase in libido while obligation may result in resentment or guilt.
Desire is often fueled by emotional connection between partners. If there is no emotional bond, then the physical act becomes meaningless and lacks depth. Sexual desire requires a certain level of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability. Without these elements, it can quickly become mechanical and unfulfilling. However, obligation can exist even without these things because people feel like they have to fulfill their partner's needs or avoid conflict. The problem with this approach is that it leads to unhappiness as neither party receives what they truly need from the encounter.
In order to differentiate between desire and obligation during sexual encounters, it's important to examine why you are engaging in them in the first place. Is it because you genuinely want to or because you feel pressured? Are you trying to please your partner at all costs or are you simply going through the motions? If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty afterward or uninterested in continuing the relationship, then it's likely that your motivations were more obligatory than desirous. On the flip side, if you're always enthusiastic about sex and eagerly look forward to it, then chances are that you're driven by desire rather than duty.
It's also helpful to communicate openly with your partner about your expectations and boundaries around sex. This way, each person knows where they stand and what they're willing to do. It's okay to say "no" if something doesn't feel right or comfortable for either of you. If one person feels obligated to participate while the other does not, then resentment will build up over time and damage the relationship. Ultimately, true happiness comes when both partners are equally invested in pleasing themselves and each other through intimate connections - without coercion or manipulation.