Veterans often struggle to connect romantically after combat due to physical and psychological injuries that interfere with normal arousal and sexual functioning. Veteran-specific PTSD, depression, anxiety disorders, sexual traumas, substance abuse, and chronic pain are common causes of diminished interest in sex and dysregulated behaviors such as anger, irritability, hypervigilance, and avoidance. These symptoms can cause distress, isolation, and relational conflict, leading to negative outcomes for partnerships and family life. This study explores how veterans negotiate intimacy when trauma affects desire, emotional regulation, and responsiveness using qualitative research methods including semi-structured interviews with male veterans and their civilian partners. The findings suggest that veterans employ various strategies to cope with sexual difficulties, including open communication, self-compassion, humor, negotiation, mindfulness practices, and therapy. Some partners express empathy while others become frustrated or withdraw from connection altogether.
This study emphasizes the importance of cultivating a shared understanding between veterans and civilians about the impact of war experiences on sexual health and providing supportive resources to promote healing and well-being within relationships.
Researchers examined how veterans' trauma influences desire, emotional regulation, and responsiveness by conducting interviews with 20 male veterans and 15 female partners who had been together for at least one year. The participants were asked questions such as "How does your military experience affect your relationship?" "What is it like to be intimate after combat?" and "What challenges do you face during sex?" Each partner was interviewed separately to understand their unique perspectives. The results revealed several themes related to the effects of trauma on sex:
- Desire and pleasure: Veterans reported difficulty becoming aroused due to physical injuries (e.g., genitalia), disrupted body image, or negative beliefs about themselves as men. Partners often felt rejected or undesired when they could not meet these needs.
- Emotional regulation: Veterans struggled with hypervigilance, anger outbursts, impulsivity, or emotional numbness that interfered with attentiveness and sensitivity. Partners reported feeling unsupported, insecure, or unsafe around loved ones who seemed distant or irritable.
- Responsiveness: Many veterans experienced flashbacks, nightmares, or other symptoms during sex that made it difficult to connect emotionally or respond positively. Partners described feeling abandoned or overwhelmed by their loved one's reactions.
To cope with these difficulties, many veterans used various strategies including open communication, self-compassion, humor, negotiation, mindfulness practices, and therapy. They emphasized the importance of being honest about their experiences and feelings to establish trust and understanding within the relationship. Some partners expressed empathy while others became frustrated or withdrew from connection altogether.
This study underscores the need for supportive resources such as couples counseling or sexual health education to promote healing and well-being within relationships impacted by war trauma.
How do veterans negotiate intimacy when trauma affects desire, emotional regulation, and responsiveness?
The ways that veterans negotiate intimacy are influenced by their personal experiences of trauma, including how they perceive themselves and others' reactions to it. Some may be reluctant to initiate intimate contact due to fear of being judged or rejected as "damaged" or unworthy of love, while others may seek out intimacy more intensely as a way to process their emotions or connect with others who share similar experiences.