Soldiers are expected to be tough, resilient, disciplined, brave, and strong, but they also have emotions that can make them feel vulnerable. Emotions like fear, pain, sadness, disappointment, loneliness, frustration, anger, embarrassment, shame, and guilt can affect their performance and safety on the battlefield. In addition, soldiers must maintain professional distance from each other, follow strict rules of conduct, and adhere to military traditions to uphold the chain of command and discipline within their unit.
It is common for soldiers to form close bonds during combat, which can lead to feelings of attachment, trust, love, and dependency. These emotional connections can create risks for soldiers who struggle to negotiate vulnerability and remain stoic under pressure. The following steps can help soldiers navigate these expectations and express themselves safely and effectively.
Recognize Vulnerability
Vulnerability is an essential part of being human. Everyone experiences it in different ways, and soldiers are no exception. Recognizing your own vulnerabilities helps you understand why you may need to suppress or hide them and how to manage them when you cannot. Identifying your vulnerabilities allows you to take action to address them before they become a problem.
If you experience anxiety, depression, or PTSD, seek support and treatment immediately. If you struggle with relationships, consider therapy or counseling.
Explore Emotions
Soldiers often face situations where they must act without hesitation or emotion, but this does not mean they should ignore their feelings entirely. It is crucial to explore your emotions and gain awareness of what makes you feel vulnerable. You may find that some emotions are easier to handle than others or that certain people trigger more vulnerability. Once you know what triggers your emotions, you can develop coping strategies that allow you to maintain professionalism while still expressing yourself.
You might write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal or talk to a trusted friend.
Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is vital when navigating vulnerability. It means being honest about your emotions and communicating them directly and clearly without using euphemisms or code phrases. Avoid saying things like "I'm fine" or "It's nothing," which can imply that you don't want to discuss the issue further. Instead, say something like "I am feeling overwhelmed by my deployment" or "I miss my family." Practice self-awareness and use 'I' statements rather than blaming others for your feelings. Remember that everyone experiences vulnerability differently and be mindful of cultural differences and expectations. Use active listening skills to understand other perspectives and avoid defensiveness.
Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage vulnerability in difficult situations. Exercise regularly, practice meditation or breathwork, or seek support from mental health professionals. You might also try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises, visualization, or progressive muscle relaxation. Find ways to express your emotions safely, whether through writing, art, music, sports, or hobbies. Seek out social connections with people who understand military life and share similar interests. By developing these tools, you will feel more confident in managing your emotions on the battlefield and beyond.
How do soldiers negotiate vulnerability when cultural expectations within the military encourage emotional stoicism?
According to research on military culture and gender norms, there is often pressure for men in the military to be emotionally stoic due to the social expectation that they should not express their feelings openly (Gilligan & Jeglic 2017; Hutchison et al. 2015). This can make it difficult for soldiers to experience and process vulnerable emotions like fear, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness.