Soldiers face unique challenges when it comes to forming emotional attachments while deployed. The demands of their job often require them to suppress or redirect their emotions towards their fellow soldiers, making it difficult for them to develop true relationships that extend beyond the scope of the mission.
Many soldiers may experience feelings of close bonding that they mistake for genuine friendship or romance. This phenomenon is known as situational emotional closeness, which can cause confusion and heartbreak when those connections are severed upon return home. In this article, I will explore how soldiers can distinguish between situational emotional closeness and authentic relational attachment.
Situational emotional closeness occurs when two people share intense experiences together, such as combat or crisis situations. These shared experiences create strong bonds that can feel like true intimacy, but the connection is not based on deep understanding or commitment. Rather, it is simply an emotional response to the circumstances. Soldiers may confuse these connections with real friendships or romances, leading to hurt feelings and disappointment when they discover that the other person does not reciprocate the same level of interest.
To determine whether a situationally-created bond is truly a friendship or relationship, soldiers should look for signs of continuity outside of the military setting. Do you have regular contact outside of work hours? Do you discuss personal topics, not just work-related ones? Have you made plans for future interactions? Do you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and opinions with each other without fear of judgment? If so, then it's likely a genuine friendship or romantic relationship.
Authentic relational attachments require time, trust, and vulnerability. They are built over time through consistent communication and shared experiences. True friends and partners know each other well enough to understand their likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. They support each other in difficult times and celebrate successes together. Authentic relationships are often marked by mutual respect, loyalty, and support.
If you find yourself questioning the depth of your bond with someone else, ask yourself if they would be willing to meet your needs even if your relationship wasn't based on situational closeness. Are they there for you in good times and bad? Do they actively seek out your company and make an effort to maintain the relationship even after deployment? If not, then the connection may only be situational.
It's important to remember that situational emotional closeness can still be valuable, but it shouldn't be confused with true intimacy. These connections provide comfort and support during difficult times, but they do not last beyond the situation itself. To avoid heartbreak, soldiers must be aware of this distinction and evaluate their feelings objectively before assuming that their bonds will continue beyond deployment.
Soldiers face unique challenges when it comes to forming authentic emotional attachments while deployed. Situational emotional closeness is common, but it should not be mistaken for real friendships or romantic relationships. By asking themselves questions about continuity, communication, and commitment, soldiers can determine whether a connection is genuine or simply situational. With awareness and self-reflection, they can build healthy relationships that extend beyond the scope of the military setting.
How do soldiers differentiate between situational emotional closeness and authentic relational attachment?
Soldiers who have served together for a long time may feel an emotional bond that is similar to friendship, but this does not necessarily mean that they are truly attached to one another on a deeper level. The key difference lies in how the two parties perceive their relationship - whether it is based on shared experiences and memories, or if there is true trust, vulnerability, and intimacy involved.