The term "shared adversity" refers to the challenges that individuals may face together, such as physical or psychological trauma, conflict, illness, loss, or financial difficulties. These experiences can put significant strain on relationships, particularly those involving members of the military community who are faced with unique stressors related to their service.
Research has shown that shared adversity can also contribute to the development of resilient relationships. In this article, I will discuss how shared adversity creates relational resilience in military couples and provide examples from my personal experience and the literature.
It is important to understand what is meant by "relational resilience." Relational resilience refers to the ability of a relationship to adapt and recover from adverse circumstances without breaking apart. This concept was initially developed for research purposes but has since been applied to real-world contexts, including military partnerships. One way to think about relational resilience is through the lens of bungee jumping. Just like bungee cords have elastic properties, resilient relationships are able to stretch and rebound after experiencing tension or pressure. When two people share an experience of shared adversity, they grow closer and become stronger as individuals and as a couple.
There are several ways in which shared adversity can promote relational resilience in military couples. First, shared adversity can increase intimacy by fostering greater communication and understanding between partners.
If a military partner experiences PTSD or traumatic brain injury, they may struggle to communicate their needs and emotions to their civilian partner. Through open communication and support, however, the couple can work together to address these challenges and create a more meaningful connection. Second, shared adversity can help military spouses develop a sense of empathy and compassion for one another's struggles. Understanding each other's perspectives on difficult situations allows partners to build trust and strengthen their bond.
Shared adversity can lead to greater appreciation for the positive aspects of the relationship, such as mutual care and respect. In times of crisis, it becomes clear how important these qualities are, and couples who prioritize them are better equipped to overcome obstacles.
In my own personal experience, I saw firsthand how shared adversity created relational resilience within my own marriage. My husband deployed multiple times while serving in the Navy, which put significant strain on our relationship.
Through open communication and support, we were able to weather those storms together and come out even stronger than before. We learned to appreciate each other's strengths and weaknesses and developed new strategies for coping with stress and managing conflict. Our shared adversity also helped us recognize that our relationship was worth fighting for and that we could face anything together.
Research has also shown similar findings. One study found that military partnerships tended to be more resilient when both members faced shared challenges related to deployment or separation. Another study showed that couples who experienced traumatic events together (such as deployments or combat) reported higher levels of marital satisfaction and commitment compared to those who did not.
Researchers have found that shared adversity can increase feelings of trust and intimacy between partners by promoting mutual dependence and vulnerability.
Shared adversity creates a sense of common purpose and solidarity that can help couples navigate difficult situations and build lasting relationships.
Shared adversity is a powerful force in creating relational resilience in military couples. Through effective communication, empathy, and appreciation, partners can work together to overcome challenges and grow closer as individuals and as a couple. Whether it's dealing with deployment, illness, loss, or financial difficulties, shared adversity can provide opportunities for growth and development that are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
In what ways does shared adversity create relational resilience in military couples?
Research suggests that shared adversity can create relational resilience in military couples by strengthening their bond through mutual understanding, support, and trust. Shared experiences of stressors such as deployments, separations, combat, and other challenges can lead to a deepened appreciation for each other's contributions and sacrifices. This understanding, along with a sense of commitment to one another, can help couples navigate difficult situations and work together towards common goals.