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SEXUALITY | WHY ETERNAL ROMANCE IS HARMFUL TO REAL RELATIONSHIPS (AND WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT)

Cultural Expectations of Eternal Romance

Cultural expectations can have a significant impact on how couples approach their relationship and intimacy. One such expectation is that love and passion are supposed to be everlasting. This idea has been widely perpetuated through movies, books, and songs, making it seem like unending romantic feelings are normal and desirable.

This idealized notion can create problems for long-term couples who struggle to maintain their spark as they age. In reality, romantic love is often fleeting and needs to be nurtured over time.

The Myth of Eternal Passion

The idea of eternal passion is based on a false premise that realistic intimacy cannot exist without infatuation-like emotions.

True intimacy involves more than just intense physical desire; it also requires emotional connection, understanding, trust, communication, and mutual respect. These qualities take effort and commitment to cultivate, and they may ebb and flow over time depending on various factors such as stress levels or health issues. Therefore, expecting endless passion without working on other aspects of your relationship can lead to disappointment when things become less exciting naturally.

Difficulty Embracing Realistic Intimacy

When couples don't accept the decline in passion and focus solely on maintaining the original excitement, they may miss out on deepening their connection. They may feel frustrated and resentful toward each other if one partner doesn't meet their expectations, leading to arguments, avoidance, or even breakup. It can also prevent them from addressing genuine issues in the relationship since they cling to the past instead of moving forward.

Some people may feel guilty about not having the same level of enthusiasm as before, which further strains their bond.

Benefits of Realistic Intimacy

Accepting realistic intimacy can help couples appreciate each other's differences and develop new ways of connecting. By acknowledging changing desires and needs, they can explore new forms of intimacy, such as touching, cuddling, or talking intimately. This helps create a stable foundation for love that is more sustainable than relying on fleeting feelings alone. It also allows partners to prioritize other areas of life, such as family, hobbies, or career goals, without sacrificing their relationship.

Cultural expectations of eternal romance can set unrealistic standards for couples and make it harder to embrace realistic intimacy over time. While infatuation-like emotions are an essential part of any relationship, nurturing other aspects of the bond is equally crucial for long-term happiness. Couples must learn to accept changes in their chemistry while continuously working on their connection to keep the spark alive and grow stronger together.

How do cultural expectations of eternal romance hinder couples' ability to embrace realistic intimacy over decades?

Couples who are together for many years often struggle with maintaining a high level of romanticism due to societal pressures that push them towards unrealistic expectations. In order to keep their relationship strong, they must learn how to navigate these expectations and create a more realistic understanding of what love looks like after many years together. While it can be difficult, embracing realistic intimacy is essential for long-term happiness and fulfillment in a relationship.

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