Strategies to Support Veterans While Minimizing Reinforcement of Avoidance or Hypervigilant Behaviors
A common challenge faced by partners of veterans is how to offer support while minimizing reinforcement of avoidance or hypervigilant behaviors. These behaviors can include difficulty sleeping, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, depression, irritability, isolation, hyperarousal, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, and avoidance of certain people, places, things, situations, activities, memories, emotions, topics, etc. The following strategies may be useful for supporting veterans without worsening these behaviors:
Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations
It's important to set clear boundaries and expectations about what types of support are wanted or needed from a partner.
Some veterans may prefer verbal affirmation and validation, while others may prefer physical touch or other forms of support. It's also important to clarify when and where support should be given, such as during daytime hours or in public rather than at night or alone. This helps prevent accidentally triggering avoidance or hypervigilant responses that could worsen symptoms.
Offer Emotional Validation
Another strategy is to offer emotional validation and empathy. This means acknowledging the feelings and experiences of the veteran, even if they seem strange or extreme. It may mean listening patiently, nodding understandingly, and responding with non-judgmental words like "I see," "That must have been scary," or "How do you feel about that?" It also includes offering positive affirmation and reassurance, such as "You did your best" or "It wasn't your fault."
Practice Patience and Calmness
Practicing patience and calmness can help reduce stress and anxiety in the relationship. Partners should try to remain composed and relaxed, even in difficult situations. Avoiding angry outbursts, criticism, or other negative behaviors can prevent reinforcing veteran behavior patterns. Instead, stay focused on the task at hand and provide support without becoming overwhelmed or frustrated.
Maintain Routines and Rituals
Maintaining routines and rituals can provide a sense of stability and predictability for veterans who may otherwise struggle with uncertainty. This might include mealtimes, chores, hobbies, activities, dates, or other regular events. Setting clear expectations and following through consistently can help build trust and confidence in the relationship.
Seek Professional Help
Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be an important step towards supporting veterans with avoidance or hypervigilant behaviors. These professionals can provide expert guidance on effective communication strategies, coping mechanisms, self-care tips, and more. They can also offer objective perspectives, unbiased feedback, and concrete solutions tailored to each individual case.
What strategies help partners support veterans while minimizing reinforcement of avoidance or hypervigilant behaviors?
When supporting veterans with PTSD, it is important to provide opportunities for them to engage in activities that are enjoyable and meaningful. This can include activities such as hobbies, sports, or volunteer work. It is also important to allow them time to process their thoughts and feelings without judgment or pressure to share.