A soldier returns home from combat. He has experienced extreme stressors including death, dismemberment, and destruction. His unit suffered heavy casualties. He is haunted by memories of dead comrades who sacrificed their lives for him. He also witnessed civilians being killed indiscriminately. He may have been forced to kill children or rape women. There was no time for emotional attachment; he had to stay focused on survival. When he returns, his partner struggles to understand why he behaves differently. She cannot relate to someone so distant and unresponsive. It feels like she doesn't know him anymore. Their relationship suffers as they both try to cope with this new reality.
The partner's perspective
The partner has feelings of abandonment and betrayal. She longs for her old companionship with her loved one. She misses the intimacy and closeness that once defined their relationship. Her attempts to connect are met with rejection and coldness. She wonders if she did something wrong and blames herself for his behavior. As time goes on, she becomes resentful and angry. She tries to find answers in research but finds little help or understanding.
The soldier's perspective
The soldier experiences a range of emotions upon returning. He is traumatized by the horrors of war and struggles to feel safe at home. He tries to retreat into himself, withdrawing from others. He does not want to talk about what happened and wants to be left alone. He may have nightmares or flashbacks, making it difficult to sleep. His PTSD symptoms can manifest as anger, irritability, anxiety, depression, or substance abuse. In addition, he may experience physical pain due to injuries sustained during combat. He feels isolated and overwhelmed by his own thoughts and memories.
Coping strategies
Coping strategies include professional therapy, support groups, medication, exercise, and mindfulness meditation.
These alone will not fully address the emotional turmoil experienced. Partners must also learn coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional ambiguity that arises when the soldier's former personality traits or relational patterns become obscured by trauma. This requires communication, empathy, patience, and understanding. It takes time and effort to rebuild trust and intimacy after such devastating events. Both partners must work together to navigate this new reality and create a shared sense of meaning and purpose.
It is important for soldiers and their partners to seek professional assistance when dealing with trauma-related issues. They need a safe space to process feelings without judgment or shame. With time and effort, they can build a strong relationship founded on mutual respect and understanding.
Both parties must find ways to cope with the emotional ambiguity caused by traumatic experiences in order to maintain healthy relationships moving forward.
How do partners cope with the emotional ambiguity that occurs when trauma obscures the soldier's former personality traits or relational patterns?
The emotional ambiguity that comes about as a result of trauma can be especially challenging for partners who may not understand why their loved one's behavior has changed or what they can do to help them heal. When soldiers return home from combat, they often experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can include flashbacks, nightmares, irritability, depression, anxiety, and avoidance behaviors.