What is Relational Recalibration?
Relational recalibration is the process of adjusting to changes in romantic and/or familial relationships caused by military deployment. It involves identifying potential areas for growth, communicating with one's partner(s) about those needs, establishing new boundaries, negotiating differences, learning how to handle conflict constructively, and maintaining mutual respect and understanding. It can be challenging but ultimately beneficial for both parties involved.
The Process of Relational Recalibration
1. Identify Potential Areas for Growth
Before recalibrating, it's important to identify potential areas where change might benefit your relationship. Consider what aspects you want to improve upon within yourself and your partner's behavior during deployment.
You may need to work on better communication skills, setting clear expectations, or handling disagreements without anger.
2. Communicate About Needs
Once you've identified areas for improvement, communicate openly with your partner(s) about your desires for change. This could include expressing feelings that were unresolved before deployment, discussing fears around intimacy post-deployment, or addressing concerns regarding trust issues. Be patient and willing to listen actively.
3. Establish New Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries can help promote a sense of safety and security in your relationship. Discuss your preferences around privacy, time together, and individual space. Consider creating contracts or agreements to ensure everyone feels comfortable moving forward.
4. Negotiate Differences
Negotiation is an essential part of relational recalibration. If partners have conflicting needs, talk openly and try to find compromises. Seek outside assistance if needed from a therapist or counselor specializing in military families.
5. Handle Conflict Constructively
Conflicts are inevitable but can be productive if handled constructively. Use active listening skills, avoid blaming or shaming language, and stay present in the moment when conflict arises. Try to focus on solutions rather than simply airing grievances.
6. Maintain Mutual Respect and Understanding
Mutual respect and understanding are key components of successful recalibration. Show appreciation for one another's efforts, validate each other's experiences during deployment, and celebrate progress made. Remember that change takes time and patience.
Resources for Relational Recalibration
If you need additional resources for recalibrating relationships after deployment, consider contacting a mental health professional who specializes in working with military couples/families.
Online support groups such as VetToVet and Couple Connect may provide valuable insights into common challenges faced by veteran families post-deployment.
Relational recalibration requires effort and communication from both parties involved. By identifying potential areas for growth, communicating openly about needs and desires, establishing new boundaries, negotiating differences constructively, handling conflicts effectively, and maintaining mutual respect and understanding throughout the process, couples/families can work through the challenges posed by military deployment and emerge stronger together.
How do partners navigate relational recalibration when soldiers' emotional priorities evolve post-deployment?
Relationships are often affected by the stressors of military deployment. Soldiers may experience changes in their emotions and priorities upon returning home from service, which can create challenges for their partners during relational recalibration. Partners must be patient and understanding while trying to adjust to new expectations and behaviors. They may need to communicate openly about any concerns they have regarding how their partner is coping with life after war.