Individuals often have an idealized view of what they want from their sexual life, but reality may not match that expectation. This can lead to negative feelings such as disappointment, guilt, confusion, anxiety, shame, fear, jealousy, frustration, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, and even depression. These are commonly referred to as "internal emotional negotiations".
The process begins when individuals face a discrepancy between their imagined and lived sexuality. They may start to question why there is a gap between their expectations and reality. They may compare themselves to others' experiences or look for reasons outside themselves. They may feel pressure to change their desires or behaviors.
Internal dialogue is common during this time. One might think, "Why am I feeling this way?" or "What's wrong with me?", followed by self-criticism and doubt. They might seek advice from friends or family members, hoping for reassurance or guidance. They could try different things, trying to find what works best for them.
Someone else could be involved in the negotiation, which adds another layer of complexity. Partners may need to agree on boundaries, expectations, limits, roles, and communication styles. If someone feels pressured or coerced into certain behaviors, it can cause conflict and damage trust. Open dialogue is essential to avoid misunderstandings.
Individuals must decide how to balance their ideals with reality. They can choose to accept their situation, adjust their mindset, or take action. Acceptance means recognizing that everyone has different needs and learning to appreciate their partner for who they are. Adjusting involves compromise and adaptation. Taking action requires effort and commitment but often leads to greater satisfaction.
Internal emotional negotiations occur whenever individuals confront discrepancies between their imagined and lived sexuality. It's a natural process that can lead to personal growth if approached thoughtfully and openly.
What internal emotional negotiations occur when individuals confront discrepancies between their imagined and lived sexuality?
When individuals experience discrepancies between their imagined and lived sexuality, they may go through a process of emotional negotiation that involves exploring their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to their sexual identity. This can involve a range of internal conflicts and challenges as they navigate different aspects of their sexuality, such as gender roles, attraction, desire, and expression.