The process that enables military veterans to manage their emotions after traumatic experiences can be challenging. They may find it difficult to open up about feelings like love, hurt, betrayal, anger, fear, loneliness, guilt, grief, shame, or depression with their partner. But they need to express them eventually if they want to build an authentic relationship. This is because sharing these feelings creates emotional closeness and strengthens trust between partners. When veterans do not share their innermost thoughts and emotions, they run the risk of creating distance and disconnection from their partner.
They might also struggle to talk about their emotions due to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, substance abuse, or other mental health conditions. PTSD can cause flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, insomnia, irritability, aggression, paranoia, and social isolation, which make opening up even more difficult. The same applies to individuals who have been sexually assaulted in combat. Many veterans are ashamed of admitting they were raped or molested, so they prefer to keep it a secret rather than discuss it with their partner.
Veterans often seek refuge in alcohol, drugs, gaming, sports, work, or hobbies to avoid dealing with painful memories and emotions. Their partner may interpret this as a lack of interest or disengagement, leading to conflict and misunderstanding. But veterans feel safer when they escape into familiar activities that take their minds off trauma. In addition, they may be reluctant to show affection out of fear that it will lead to rejection. They may withdraw emotionally, suppressing intimacy, and sexual desire, which affects their partner's need for connection and touch. It is understandable that some veterans find it hard to balance protecting themselves emotionally while meeting their partner's needs for love and engagement. Nevertheless, addressing these issues together is crucial for building an authentic relationship based on honesty, vulnerability, and mutual support. Veterans should not hesitate to share how they feel and ask their partners for patience and understanding. Partners should acknowledge the difficulties military service presents and be patient as they learn to navigate the challenges of civilian life. Seeking help from a mental health professional can also facilitate communication and healing. Both parties must be willing to invest time and effort to build trust and intimacy. Communication exercises, therapy sessions, and self-care practices like meditation, yoga, or journaling can strengthen their bond.
It takes commitment, compassion, and dedication to balance emotional protection with partners' needs for affection and engagement.
How do veterans balance emotional protection with partners' needs for affection and engagement?
In order to balance their emotional protection with partners' needs for affection and engagement, some veterans may utilize techniques such as setting boundaries or establishing routines that allow them to maintain a sense of security while still being able to connect with their loved ones. Additionally, they may seek support from friends or family members who understand their experience and can provide validation and understanding during difficult times.