Sexual trauma is a common occurrence among veterans that can cause significant damage to one's body image, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. It may involve physical assault, unwanted touching, rape, or other forms of non-consensual sexual contact. This trauma can lead to various psychological effects such as flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, depression, insomnia, and difficulty trusting others. Sexual dysfunction is also prevalent after trauma due to fear, guilt, shame, painful memories, and loss of control. Partners play an essential role in helping veterans rebuild their sexual agency through compassionate communication, empathy, patience, mutual respect, healthy boundaries, and unconditional support. Here are some ways partners can do this:
1. Acknowledge and validate the traumatic experience
Partners should be aware of the veteran's past experiences and how they affect them. They need to understand that sex is not just about pleasure but also about feelings of safety, vulnerability, and intimacy. By acknowledging the trauma and validating it, partners create a safe space for healing. They can offer empathy by listening attentively and without judgment, asking questions, and showing concern. Veterans feel understood when their partner shows genuine interest in understanding their feelings and perspectives.
2. Encourage open communication
Communication is vital for any relationship.
It becomes even more crucial in overcoming sexual trauma. Partners must create a nonjudgmental environment where veterans feel comfortable discussing their needs, desires, fears, and insecurities. They should listen actively and avoid making assumptions or giving advice unless asked. Open communication allows both parties to express themselves freely and build trust.
3. Practice self-care
Partners must take care of themselves physically and mentally to provide emotional support to their loved ones. Self-care activities include exercises, meditation, therapy, hobbies, and relaxation techniques. These practices help reduce stress and anxiety levels and increase resilience. Partners should encourage their partner to engage in similar activities that boost their mental and physical health. Taking breaks from each other may also be necessary sometimes to recharge and refocus.
4. Be patient and compassionate
Sexual healing takes time. It involves learning new coping mechanisms, exploring boundaries, and trying out different techniques. Partners should show patience and compassion throughout this process. They need to understand that sex is not just about pleasure but also about vulnerability, intimacy, and trust. Being present and attentive during the journey helps establish trust and intimacy.
5. Set healthy boundaries
Boundaries are essential for protecting one's dignity and privacy. Partners should set clear limits on what they are willing to do and not do in bed. They can communicate these boundaries using 'I statements' instead of 'you statements,' which convey ownership over their decisions.
A veteran might say, "I don't feel comfortable with this type of touch; I prefer something else." By respecting their partner's boundaries, partners demonstrate their commitment to creating a safe space for sexual healing.
6. Experiment with different positions, stimulation, and sensations
Exploration is vital for sexual recovery because it allows both parties to discover new ways of pleasuring each other. Veterans may need to try different positions or use sex toys to find their preferred sensation. Partners must support them by experimenting together without judgment or pressure. This trial-and-error approach creates excitement and discovery, leading to better intimacy and trust.
7. Practice nonverbal communication
Nonverbal cues such as body language, eye contact, and facial expressions convey emotions and intentions. Partners should practice reading each other's nonverbal signals and respond appropriately. It involves paying attention to subtle changes in mood, tone, and energy levels. Veterans may benefit from touch therapy that uses nonverbal communication to build physical and emotional connection.
8. Seek professional help
Professionals like psychotherapists, sex therapists, and coaches can provide valuable insight into the causes and effects of sexual trauma. They can help couples identify patterns and develop coping mechanisms. Partners should encourage their loved ones to seek professional help when needed, even if they are hesitant about doing so. With proper guidance and support, veterans can regain their confidence and rebuild their sexual agency.
Partners play an essential role in supporting veterans in overcoming sexual trauma. By practicing open communication, self-care, patience, compassion, boundaries, exploration, nonverbal communication, and seeking professional help, partners can create a safe space for healing. This process requires time and effort but is well worth it. Through mutual understanding and empathy, partners can help their partner rediscover their sexuality and regain control over their lives.
In what ways do partners support veterans in re-establishing trust in their bodies and sexual agency post-trauma?
Partners play a crucial role in helping veterans establish trust in their bodies and sexual agency after traumatic experiences. They provide emotional support, physical intimacy, and communication that encourages openness and vulnerability. Through consistent nonjudgmental affirmation of the veteran's feelings and sensations, partners can help veterans build confidence in themselves as sexual beings.