Bisexual people are often stereotyped as indecisive, unfaithful, promiscuous, greedy for attention, unstable, confused, or "just going through a phase". These negative perceptions are so widespread that they have been called a "bisexual tax" - an extra burden placed on bisexuals due to their non-monosexual orientation. In this article, I will explore how bi individuals experience microaggressions in heterosexual and LGBTQ+ contexts.
Examples of Microaggressions in Heterosexual Contexts
In a straight world, bisexuality is often seen as an uncomfortable middle ground between hetero- and homosexuality. This can lead to microaggressions such as asking "But do you prefer men or women?" during introductions, assuming bisexuals want to be straight or gay, or ignoring bisexual identities altogether. Bisexuals may also face misconceptions about their relationships, such as being accused of cheating or trying to please everyone.
Another common microaggression is assuming that all bisexuals are polyamorous or interested in threesomes. Many bisexuals report feeling pressured into these arrangements by partners who don't understand their sexuality. They may even feel judged when they decline, leading to feelings of guilt and shame.
Many bisexuals also struggle with the assumption that they are "greedy for attention" or only interested in sex. They may receive comments like "I wish I could be bisexual; it must be so much fun!" from curious strangers, which objectifies and belittles their identity.
Examples of Microaggressions in LGBTQ+ Contexts
Unfortunately, some members of the LGBTQ+ community have internalized negative stereotypes about bisexuality. This can manifest in microaggressions such as calling bisexuals "half-gay", implying they are not fully queer enough to belong to the community. Others may assume that bisexuality is a phase and expect bi individuals to "pick a side". Biphobia within the LGBTQ+ community has been called the "closeted closet," referring to the fear of coming out twice - once as bisexual, then again as queer.
In romantic contexts, bisexuals may experience pressure to identify exclusively as gay or lesbian rather than being accepted as bi. They may also face disapproval if they choose to date someone outside their own gender, despite being bisexual themselves. Bisexuals often describe this phenomenon as "bi erasure," where their identity is ignored or minimized due to heterosexist norms.
Despite these challenges, many bisexuals find acceptance and support within queer communities. Some LGBTQ+ spaces offer resources specifically for bisexual people, while others promote bi visibility through pride parades and events.
There is still work to be done to combat the stigma surrounding bisexual identities and promote inclusion for all sexual orientations.
Bisexual individuals face microaggressions both in straight and LGBTQ+ contexts. These stereotypes and assumptions lead to feelings of isolation, shame, and exclusion. It's important for everyone to challenge these beliefs and create safer spaces for all sexualities to thrive.
How do bisexual individuals experience and interpret microaggressions in both heterosexual and LGBTQ+ contexts?
Bisexual individuals often face microaggressions that are specific to their identity as being neither fully straight nor gay/lesbian but also not fitting into traditional gender roles for either group. This can lead to feelings of isolation and exclusion from both communities, making it difficult to find support and acceptance.