Sexual self-concept is an individual's subjective view of their own sexual identity, which includes how they perceive their physical appearance, sexual desires, sexual behaviors, and emotions related to sex. Lived relational behavior refers to actual sexual actions that take place within a relationship. Discrepancies occur when there are differences between what individuals think about themselves sexually and how they act in reality. These discrepancies can create problems for couples because they may lead to feelings of shame, guilt, confusion, disappointment, frustration, and even anger.
These discrepancies can also be managed effectively through communication, negotiation, compromise, understanding, mutual respect, empathy, support, and acceptance.
Communication is key in managing discrepancies. Couples should talk openly and honestly about their expectations, needs, wants, and preferences regarding sex. They should listen to each other without judgment or criticism and try to understand each other's perspectives. It is essential to establish boundaries and set limits to ensure that both partners feel comfortable and safe during intimacy. Negotiation involves finding common ground and reaching agreements that work for everyone involved. Compromising involves making concessions and adjusting expectations to accommodate both parties' needs and desires. Understanding involves acknowledging and accepting each partner's unique background, experiences, beliefs, and values. Mutual respect means treating each other with kindness, consideration, and respect, regardless of differences. Empathy involves putting oneself in the other person's shoes and trying to understand their perspective. Support involves being there for each other emotionally and physically, offering encouragement, and providing practical help as needed. Acceptance means recognizing that not everything will always go according to plan and learning to let go of unrealistic expectations.
Couples should remember that sexual self-concept and lived relational behavior are subjective and may change over time. They should be flexible and willing to adapt to changes in their relationship dynamic. It is also important to recognize that different people have different sexual needs and desires, which can be influenced by factors such as age, health, mood, stress levels, life events, and personal experiences. By working together, couples can create a mutually satisfying sexual relationship that meets their individual needs and brings them closer together.
How do couples manage discrepancies between idealized sexual self-concepts and lived relational behavior?
One way that couples can deal with discrepancies between their idealized sexual self-concepts and their lived relational behaviors is by openly discussing their expectations about sex within the relationship. This involves sharing their sexual desires, fantasies, and preferences, as well as any past experiences that may be influencing them. It's important for both partners to listen actively and validate each other's feelings, as this can help build trust and intimacy.