A study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that individuals who experienced adverse childhood events together were more likely to form lasting romantic bonds than those who did not share such experiences. This effect was even stronger for couples who had faced extreme adversity, such as growing up in war zones or experiencing natural disasters. The authors suggest that shared adversity can create a bond between partners based on their shared history of resilience and coping mechanisms.
This effect has been observed across different cultures and settings.
Researchers from China and Japan found that couples who grew up during difficult economic times were more likely to stay together than those who grew up in prosperous circumstances.
Couples who experienced traumatic events like war, famine, or natural disasters have higher rates of marital stability compared to other couples. These findings suggest that shared adversity creates a sense of solidarity between partners, making them feel closer and more invested in each other's well-being.
This phenomenon is not limited to negative experiences. Couples who experience positive events together may also be drawn to one another due to shared memories and emotions. Researchers at Harvard University found that couples who travelled together reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction than those who did not. Similarly, couples who engaged in activities such as hiking, cooking, or attending concerts together reported greater feelings of intimacy and closeness.
While shared adversity can deepen partner attraction, it does not guarantee a healthy relationship. Other factors, such as communication, trust, and mutual respect, are necessary for a successful long-term relationship.
Couples should strive to maintain individual identities outside of the relationship, which can help prevent codependency and enable growth within the partnership.
Shared adversity can strengthen romantic relationships by creating a bond based on shared history and resilience.
These bonds must be balanced with other factors such as communication, trust, and independence to ensure a healthy, lasting relationship.
How does shared adversity deepen partner attraction?
Psychologists have found that shared adversities can strengthen romantic relationships by making partners feel more connected, trusting, and supported. Adversity creates a sense of unity and interdependence between partners, which can lead to increased feelings of intimacy and commitment. It also helps couples develop empathy and understanding for each other's experiences and struggles, as well as fosters greater communication and problem-solving skills.