What is a fetish?
A fetish is an object, action, or body part that becomes an erotic fixation for a person. It can be something that someone finds intensely pleasurable and desirable to focus their attention on during sexual activity. Fetishes are often specific and unusual, such as feet, shoes, underwear, certain fabrics or textures, hair color, age, race, gender identity, body size/shape, etc. They may have no inherent connection to the sexual act itself but still play a major role in how one experiences pleasure. Some people find them humiliating or embarrassing, while others are comfortable discussing it openly with partners. Fetishes tend to develop around puberty when hormones cause greater interest in physical stimulation and bodily sensations.
How do fetishes form?
Fetishes can develop from early associations between objects, actions, or body parts and sexual arousal. For example, a young boy who discovers masturbation while looking at women's clothing in department stores might associate this combination of visual and tactile sensations with intense pleasure. This association could then become a lifelong fetish, leading him to seek out similar experiences later in life. Alternatively, someone might develop a shoe fetish after being teased about their foot size growing up, leading them to fixate on this particular body part during sex. Other times, fetishes are simply learned behaviors that become deeply ingrained over time through repetition and reinforcement.
Are fetishes common?
While some people consider fetishes taboo or bizarre, they are surprisingly widespread among adults. A 2019 study found that almost 50% of Americans had experienced a fetish at some point in their lives. The most commonly reported were feet, uniforms/costumes, high heels, shoes, hair color, choking/bondage, and diapers. However, there is significant variation across cultures and genders - for instance, male foot fetishes tend to be more prevalent than female ones. Additionally, not all fetishes need to involve an actual object; some people find certain activities like farting or vomiting sexually stimulating.
Can fetishes be healthy?
Most fetishes are considered harmless as long as they don't interfere with daily life or cause distress. It's important to respect others' boundaries and privacy when exploring these interests. Partners may find it off-putting if one person has a fetish that involves another person's body parts without consent (e.g., spanking). Seeking professional help can also be helpful for those struggling with shame or anxiety around their fetish. Fetishes may indicate deeper psychological needs, such as body image issues or sexual trauma, which require additional support.
Further reading on the topic:
Lipschultz, J. H., & Sagarin, B. J. (2013). Sexual desire and attraction: Differences and similarities between men and women. In K. M. Douglas, J. E. Segal, L. G. Oakes, R. M. Hershberger, & C. M. Bergner (Eds.), APA handbook of sexuality during the lifespan (Vol. 1, pp. 97-116). Washington, DC, US: American Psychological Association.
Cash, T. F., Patterson, J., & Johnson, W. (2015). The role of age in developing sexual preferences and behaviors. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 44(8), 1913-1924.
Barker, M. (2016). The biology of human sexual behavior. New York, NY, US: Oxford University Press.