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SEXUAL IDENTITY: HOW OUR DESIRES CHANGE AND EVOLVE (AND WHY WE SHOULD EMBRACE IT)

3 min read Bisexual

When individuals learn that their desires can change and evolve over time, it often has profound effects on their identity. This can be especially true for those who have previously identified themselves as being attracted to certain types of people or activities.

Someone may have always thought they were straight but then discover that they are actually bisexual or pansexual. Or, someone may have always enjoyed vanilla sex but find themselves drawn to kinkier experiences. As these changes occur, it is important for individuals to remember that their past identities do not need to be completely erased in order to explore new possibilities. Instead, they can view these new desires as simply one facet of their overall identity, which is constantly shifting and growing.

In order to understand why this happens, we must look at how our brains process sexual desire. When we experience sexual attraction, our brains release hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin, which trigger feelings of pleasure and bonding.

These hormones can change how we perceive different types of people or activities as being pleasurable. This means that what was once unappealing may suddenly become appealing, and vice versa.

External factors such as media consumption and socialization can influence our preferences, making us more open to trying new things.

Of course, some people may struggle with accepting these changes in their desires. They may feel like they are betraying their previous self-identification or worry about how others will react.

This fear is usually unfounded. Most people are understanding and supportive when presented with a partner's evolving desires, and there is no reason to feel shame or embarrassment about exploring new aspects of your sexuality. In fact, embracing these changes can lead to greater fulfillment and satisfaction in relationships.

It's also worth noting that learning about one's changing desires does not always have to involve romantic partners. Someone may discover that they enjoy solo masturbation more than partnered sex, for example. Or, they may find themselves drawn to certain kinks or fetishes that were previously off the table. Again, these changes do not mean that past identities need to be discarded - they simply add another layer to who you are as an individual.

It's important to remember that desire is fluid and ever-changing. As we learn and grow, so too do our interests and attractions. By embracing these shifts rather than resisting them, we can build stronger, more satisfying relationships and explore more of ourselves along the way.

What happens internally when individuals learn that desire can evolve over time without erasing past identities?

Desire can be defined as a strong feeling of wanting something, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional. It is often associated with longing, yearning, craving, or even lust. When an individual learns that their desires can change and evolve over time, this can lead to feelings of confusion, uncertainty, and a sense of loss.

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