Soldiers have unique experiences that shape their views about sex, sexuality, and relationships. Some soldiers enter military service expecting to become closer to peers through intense training and shared missions, but many are unprepared for the realities of life on base, which can include hazing, dehumanization, objectification, and prejudice. Soldiers may be exposed to high levels of testosterone, alcohol, boredom, stress, competition, and fear. They might also experience trauma from war, deployment, loss, or betrayal. These factors create opportunities for infidelity, hookups, and sexual harassment, all of which can destabilize existing relationships. Sexual behavior violates expectations of loyalty when it interferes with trust, commitment, or security. Violating expectations is often seen as an act of disloyalty because it undermines unit cohesion, morale, and discipline.
Some soldiers seek out intimacy or affection outside their primary relationship to cope with loneliness or reassert agency. Others participate in consensual non-monogamy or polyamory without harming others. Still, others engage in activities like voyeurism, exhibitionism, or roleplaying that may not involve other people. Regardless of intent, soldiers risk losing respect, privileges, promotions, and honor if they fail to maintain loyalty to their partners, friends, or superiors.
Soldiers who experience emotional turmoil due to sexual encounters may exhibit symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment, or anger. Some turn to drugs, alcohol, or pornography to cope with feelings of isolation and self-blame. When soldiers are accused of sexual misconduct, they face disciplinary action, demotion, separation, and legal penalties that impact their families, careers, and futures. Even innocent accusations can have long-term consequences, such as damaged reputations, strained friendships, and reduced career opportunities. Many veterans feel alienated from civilian society after leaving the military, which compounds feelings of betrayal by loved ones and peers. These experiences can be traumatic, but healing is possible through counseling, therapy, mindfulness practices, and social support. Soldiers must learn to communicate openly about their needs, boundaries, and expectations to avoid misunderstandings or conflicts that endanger relationships. They should also seek help for underlying issues related to trauma, depression, addiction, or abuse.
How do soldiers respond when sexual behavior violates their expectations of loyalty from peers or romantic partners?
Soldiers who violate social norms regarding sexual behavior may experience negative consequences such as isolation, stigmatization, or rejection by peers or romantic partners. This can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-doubt, which can have a significant impact on mental health and overall well-being. In some cases, soldiers may also face disciplinary action or even discharge from the military for engaging in sexual misconduct.