Sexual expectations are often implicit, implied, presumed, and assumed rather than explicitly stated. Sexual expectations involve all forms of physical, psychological, and social interactions between individuals.
When someone kisses you goodbye on your cheek, it is assumed that this is an expression of affection, but if they linger longer than usual, it could be interpreted as a desire for more intimate contact.
In a romantic relationship, each partner brings their own sexual desires, preferences, fantasies, interests, and needs to the table. These may vary greatly depending on factors such as age, gender identity, cultural background, past experiences, current mental state, etc. Some people enjoy dominant/submissive roles while others are more equal. Sometimes couples engage in rough sex, BDSM, or role-playing activities. Other times, people seek out new experiences or seek to explore their boundaries.
When these differences are not communicated clearly, misunderstandings can arise, which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, disappointment, rejection, betrayal, and resentment. This can also affect the overall satisfaction level within the relationship. The power dynamics between partners can shift, causing one person to feel more powerful than the other, leading to inequality and imbalance in decision making. In addition, there can be issues with consent, autonomy, and relational fairness.
The term "consent" refers to giving permission for something, whether verbal or nonverbal. Consent means agreeing to participate willingly and voluntarily in any sexual activity without coercion, force, or pressure. When sexual expectations are not discussed openly beforehand, there is potential for confusion, hurt, anger, and even legal ramifications.
If someone assumes that touching your genitals is acceptable but you do not wish it, this could cause tension and conflict. If one partner pressures the other into performing a specific act against their will, this is considered rape.
Autonomy refers to having control over one's actions and decisions. It involves being able to make choices freely and independently without interference from others. When sexual expectations are unclear or unspoken, one partner may feel they have less control over their own desires and needs. They may feel like they must compromise or conform to the wishes of their partner. This can lead to feelings of loss of independence and self-worth.
Relational fairness refers to treating each partner equally and fairly during intimate encounters. Each person should receive equal attention and consideration during sex. When sexual expectations go unaddressed, one partner may feel neglected, unimportant, or even abused.
Communicating sexual expectations clearly is essential for healthy relationships and positive emotional experiences. Both partners should express what they want and need to ensure mutual satisfaction. By discussing these things beforehand, both parties will feel more comfortable exploring new boundaries together without fear of judgment or rejection.
In what ways do sexual expectations, whether verbalized or unspoken, generate power asymmetries that influence emotional consent, autonomy, and relational fairness?
Sexual expectations are influenced by various factors such as culture, gender roles, past experiences, personal values, and beliefs. When these expectations are not mutually agreed upon, it can create power imbalances between partners, which may impact their ability to give and receive consent freely and equally. This can lead to feelings of coercion, pressure, and manipulation, resulting in negative emotions such as guilt, shame, anxiety, or resentment.