Dirty talk is when you say erotic things during sex. It makes people feel sexy, desired, attractive, special, loved, wanted, and powerful. People enjoy being called names, told what they're doing, asked how they like it, and made to do certain things. Dirty talk can even increase arousal. However, there are many unpleasant words that don't feel good. Not everyone likes being called "slut," "whore," "daddy," or "baby." Some prefer neutral terms or those from their partner's mouths. Some also want to explore taboo topics or fantasies. To avoid discomfort and hurt feelings, negotiate dirty talk.
Talk about your desires, limits, and triggers before getting down. Ask if any words bother them. If so, list positive ones that would work instead. Also, ask if certain acts are okay or off-limits. This builds trust and safety. Then, make a shared vocabulary list for safe and unsafe words. It could include words or actions they find erotic, neutral, or repulsive. For example, "dirty" might be safe, but "cum" wouldn't be. This helps both of you know what's acceptable in bed. You should always listen to each other and respond accordingly. Even if one partner wants something, the other may not.
For some, dirty word lists help clarify boundaries. They specify which words turn them on and which ones don't. Others may use them to test out new terms or build excitement. If they're unsure, they can start with simple words like "sexy," "hot," "horny," or "turned on." As they become more comfortable, they can add specifics or requests. Partners should communicate openly and respectfully. Dirty talk is intimate and vulnerable, so it requires honesty and sensitivity.
If you're nervous about saying dirty things, remember that practice makes perfect. Start with mild expressions and then move on to bolder ones. You can experiment with voice tone, speed, volume, and delivery style. Some people enjoy being teased, while others prefer compliments. Just focus on their reactions and adjust your approach accordingly. The most important thing is to have fun and connect emotionally during sex. Dirty talk can enhance that connection by making partners feel heard and desired.