In recent times, there has been an increasing emphasis on the role of religion in promoting societal values, including the promotion of traditional family structures and norms.
This approach has come under scrutiny for its impact on mental health and sexual wellness, especially among women. This essay explores how religious beliefs can discourage the attribution of sexual problems to relationship incompatibilities rather than personal issues, leading to suppressed sexual desires and poor sexual experiences.
Religious teachings on sexuality
Religion is often seen as a moral guide that sets boundaries for behavior, including sexual conduct. The Bible states that lustful thoughts are sinful and should be avoided, while the Quran prohibits extramarital affairs. Such teachings encourage people to control their sexual urges within the confines of marriage and avoid all forms of premarital sex. The resultant effect is that people see sexuality as something shameful and taboo and do not speak openly about it, even when they face problems.
Shame and guilt
The idea of sexual pleasure being wrong leads to feelings of shame and guilt whenever one engages in such acts. Women who experience sexual dysfunction may assume that it is due to lack of faith or punishment from God for sins committed outside the bedroom. They feel ashamed and guilty for expressing their needs and desires, which further contributes to dissatisfaction and distress. In extreme cases, some women may even attribute their inability to orgasm to spiritual weakness instead of physical or emotional factors.
Sexual repression
Sexual repression is a common phenomenon among religious individuals, whereby people deny themselves pleasurable sensations during sexual activities out of fear of judgment or punishment from God. This can lead to negative sexual experiences and dampen arousal levels during intercourse.
Women who believe that God frowns upon masturbation may suppress any urge to touch themselves for pleasure, leading to sexual frustration. Similarly, men who view sex as a form of temptation may avoid foreplay or other intimate acts out of concern for their souls.
Emotional distance
Religious teachings on sexuality often emphasize emotional detachment during sexual encounters, with little room for romance or intimacy. This discourages couples from building emotional connections and leads to unsatisfying sexual experiences. The man's role is limited to providing physical satisfaction while the woman must remain passive and compliant. The resulting distance between partners makes it difficult for them to address sexual problems effectively, especially if they do not see each other beyond the act itself.
Lack of communication
The lack of open discussion about sexual matters prevents couples from communicating freely, leaving them unaware of each other's needs and preferences. They may be unwilling to discuss issues like mismatched libidos, body image concerns, or performance anxiety, believing these are private matters best kept within the confines of marriage. Without such conversations, they cannot identify incompatibilities and seek solutions that improve their sexual wellness.
Religion plays an essential role in shaping societal values, including those related to sexuality.
Its influence can have negative impacts on mental health and sexual wellbeing by promoting shame, guilt, repression, and lack of communication. To address this issue, religious leaders should promote open dialogue on sexuality and encourage people to seek professional help when needed. Couples should also strive to create a safe space where they can discuss their needs and desires without judgment, leading to improved relationship satisfaction.
In what ways does religion discourage attribution of sexual problems to incompatibility?
Religion typically emphasizes that sex should only occur within the context of a committed relationship and is therefore prohibited outside of marriage. This emphasis on monogamy can lead people to believe that any sexual difficulties are due to their partner not being the right fit for them rather than their own individual issues or lack of experience. Additionally, many religions teach that sex is only appropriate when used to procreate, which further reinforces the idea that it is only something that happens between married partners.