What is Internal Conflict?
Internal conflict can be defined as a discrepancy between an individual's thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, and actions. This can occur when there is a disparity between what someone wants to do or feels versus what they actually do. In terms of sexual desire and identity, it refers to the feeling that one has towards certain physical or emotional needs which may not align with their public image or social expectations.
Sexual Desires vs Public Identity
Sexual desires are often influenced by cultural norms, personal experiences, and societal standards.
A heterosexual man who may have fantasies about same-sex partners but remains in a relationship with a woman because he fears being judged by society would experience internal conflict. On the other hand, a bisexual person living in a homophobic community might suppress their attraction towards people of the same gender out of fear of being ostracized. The pressure to conform to societal norms can lead individuals to repress their true desires and engage in behavior that does not reflect their inner self.
Coping Strategies
Coping strategies for dealing with such internal conflicts vary from person to person. Some individuals choose to keep their sexual desires private and suppress them while others seek support from friends, family, or professionals like therapists. Others try to explore their desires through masturbation or safe consensual relationships without involving their romantic partner. Many also resort to substance abuse to numb themselves from the pain and confusion caused by conflicting feelings.
These coping mechanisms only provide temporary relief and may cause more harm than good in the long run.
Impact on Mental Health
Internal conflict related to sexual desire can take a toll on an individual's mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even suicidal thoughts. It can also strain personal relationships, causing feelings of guilt and shame. Therefore, it is essential for individuals to seek help if they feel overwhelmed by this type of conflict. Therapy can be particularly helpful in exploring one's identity, addressing underlying issues, and developing healthy coping strategies.
How do individuals handle internal conflict when their sexual desires contradict their public identities?
Individuals who experience a disparity between their personal feelings of desire and their perceived social expectations may cope with this discrepancy through different strategies depending on the situation and context. Some may attempt to suppress or repress their desires, while others may try to avoid situations that trigger them. Still, others might engage in riskier behaviors such as cheating or extramarital affairs to satisfy their needs, leading to feelings of guilt and shame.