Desire is often thought to arise from within an individual, as a response to perceived needs and wants.
It can also be shaped by external factors, such as cultural norms, societal expectations, and personal experiences. This article explores how people's roles in each other's lives can influence their desires and shape their interactions and behaviors.
Symbolic roles are defined as social positions that individuals occupy within a group or society. These roles can involve power dynamics, status hierarchies, and stereotypical gender norms.
A man may have traditionally been expected to pursue sexual encounters while a woman has traditionally been viewed as passive and submissive. In this context, desire for men may be driven by their role as the initiator and provider of sex, while women's desire may be influenced by their symbolic position as objects of male pleasure.
These gendered expectations may not accurately reflect everyone's experience or preferences. Some individuals may enjoy taking on both active and passive roles in relationships, while others may reject traditional gender roles altogether.
The impact of symbolic roles extends beyond just gender norms. Other symbolic roles, such as parental or romantic partnerships, can similarly shape one's desires and expectations. A parent-child relationship, for instance, typically involves a parent providing care and support for a child who depends on them. The parent's desire to nurture and protect their child may manifest in ways that go beyond physical affection. Similarly, a couple in a committed relationship may develop certain expectations around intimacy and exclusivity, shaped by their shared history and commitment.
These symbolic roles often intersect with other factors, such as individual characteristics and personal histories. An individual's upbringing, education, and life experiences can influence how they perceive and interact with others, including their own desires.
Someone raised in a conservative religious community may have different beliefs about sexuality and intimacy than someone from a more liberal background. This could lead to conflicting desires between partners, or even difficulty discussing and expressing those desires within the relationship.
Desire can also be affected by social context and societal attitudes towards sexuality and relationships. In some cultures, openness about sexual needs and desires is encouraged and celebrated, while in others it may be viewed as taboo or dangerous. This can create barriers to honest communication and expression, which can lead to misunderstandings, disappointments, and disconnection.
Desire is complex and multifaceted, influenced by both internal and external factors. By acknowledging the impact of symbolic roles on desire, we can better understand our own preferences and interactions, as well as those of others. It's important to recognize that what people want and need may not always align with traditional gender norms or cultural expectations, but rather reflect unique perspectives and lived experiences.
How might desire be shaped by the symbolic roles people play in each other's lives rather than by the individuals themselves?
Sociologist Erving Goffman (1922-1982) argued that desire can be influenced by symbolic roles, which are social constructs that people create for themselves through their interactions with others. In his book "The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life," he explores how individuals use symbolic roles to present a particular image of themselves to others, and how these images can shape desires and expectations.