What is morality? Moral principles concern what is right and wrong in human behavior. These principles often involve adhering to societal norms of behavior that are based on religion, culture, tradition, philosophy, reason, or personal preference. They also require consistent application across different contexts.
Human beings struggle to follow moral codes consistently when faced with temptations such as pleasure, power, wealth, or status. This inconsistency has led to various rationalizations and justifications for engaging in immoral behaviors. In this paper, I will discuss how individuals justify their sexual decisions that conflict with their stated values and the internal narratives that support these justifications.
How do people decide which actions to take regarding sexual activities? The decision process involves identifying the options available to them, evaluating each option according to criteria they have established, and choosing an action from those evaluated.
Someone who says they value monogamy may identify the options of being faithful and cheating. They then evaluate both options using criteria such as fidelity, trustworthiness, respect, loyalty, commitment, honesty, etc., and choose one. When it comes to sex, some people consider factors such as physical compatibility, emotional connection, chemistry, intimacy, companionship, desire, passion, affection, love, lust, mutual attraction, romance, pleasure, comfort, affection, touch, sensation, arousal, etc. These criteria can vary depending on the person's preferences, beliefs, experiences, and needs.
Sometimes people engage in sexual activities that do not align with their stated values, resulting in cognitive dissonance. This occurs when a person holds two conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or values, creating psychological tension and discomfort. To reduce this discomfort, they develop internal narratives that justify their behavior. Internal narratives are stories we tell ourselves about our motivations, desires, intentions, goals, beliefs, expectations, and behaviors. They often involve self-talk, rationalizations, explanations, excuses, denials, or affirmations. By telling themselves these stories, individuals seek to make sense of their actions and reconcile them with their moral principles.
A person who claims to be against casual sex but engages in it may use an internal narrative like "I was too drunk" or "It was just a one-time thing." Another story could be "I couldn't help myself because my partner is so attractive." Such stories enable individuals to maintain a consistent view of themselves while justifying their contradictory behaviors.
These narratives are reinforced by external factors such as peer pressure, cultural norms, social media, advertising, and societal values.
Some cultures promote promiscuity as normal or even glorify it as a symbol of masculinity or femininity. These external influences lead people to feel pressured into acting contrary to their morals, leading to further justifications.
People can use various strategies to justify sexual decisions that conflict with their stated values. These include minimizing the importance of the action, reframing the situation, blaming others, distorting reality, creating exceptions, shifting responsibility, using comparisons, appealing to higher authorities, and attributing moral license. Minimization involves downplaying the severity of the behavior, making it seem insignificant or irrelevant. Reframing involves looking at the situation from different perspectives to create more favorable interpretations. Blame refers to assigning culpability for the action to someone else, thereby alleviating personal guilt. Distortion entails exaggerating or denying information to change perceptions. Creation of exceptions allows for flexibility in interpreting rules, making them fit specific situations. Shifting responsibility transfers accountability to other individuals or circumstances. Comparisons involve placing oneself above or below another person to rationalize actions.
Appeal to higher authority seeks divine approval or religious guidance on the decision.
This article has explored how individuals justify sexual decisions that contradict their stated values and the internal narratives that support these justifications. They do so by engaging in cognitive dissonance reduction through self-talk, peer pressure, cultural norms, advertising, and societal values. It is essential to recognize that these narratives are not always accurate representations of one's true beliefs but rather attempts to cope with conflicting thoughts and emotions.
How do individuals justify sexual decisions that conflict with their stated values, and what internal narratives support these justifications?
Most people have conflicting feelings about sex. On one hand, they may believe it is sacred and only appropriate within marriage. On the other hand, they may be attracted to someone they are not married to, or they may want to engage in casual sex for fun or validation. Individuals can rationalize such behavior by appealing to external factors like peer pressure or cultural norms that encourage promiscuity.