Soldiers must balance their need for physical and emotional closeness with the psychological aftereffects of war.
Relationships are essential to all people's lives, regardless of profession.
Those who serve in the military face unique challenges when it comes to maintaining meaningful connections with others due to the rigorous demands of service. Soldiers may be forced to put themselves in harm's way, making them feel detached from friends and family back home. These experiences can lead to trauma that impacts mental health, often leading to moral injury or ethical dilemmas. How do soldiers reconcile relational intimacy needs with these difficult experiences?
The most obvious challenge facing soldiers is simply finding time to develop relationships outside of work. When they are deployed overseas or engaged in combat missions, there is little opportunity for personal connection beyond their fellow troops. This lack of contact can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation that make it more difficult to form close bonds once they return home. Some soldiers also experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which causes flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, depression, guilt, and other symptoms that interfere with everyday life. PTSD makes it harder for soldiers to trust others or express their emotions, especially intimate ones. The same goes for survivor's guilt, where one soldier feels responsible for another's death or suffering. Both conditions can cause a soldier to withdraw emotionally from loved ones, even if they want to stay connected.
Moral Injury
Moral injury refers specifically to the internal conflict caused by participating in activities against one's conscience or values. It can result from witnessing atrocities, killing enemies, betraying allies, or breaking rules. A soldier who has experienced moral injury may question his or her own morality and find it hard to maintain faith in humanity. This disillusionment affects all aspects of life, including romantic partnerships.
A soldier with moral injuries might struggle to connect with someone who does not understand what he or she went through during deployment. The soldier might feel ashamed about past actions or fear rejection due to them. As a result, they could become distant and detached from others.
Ethical Dilemmas
Ethical dilemmas arise when soldiers must choose between two unpleasant options. They may be forced to make decisions regarding life and death that violate personal beliefs. These situations are common among military personnel, leading to feelings of regret and self-blame. Soldiers often experience shame over decisions made under pressure, making them reluctant to share details of their experiences with anyone else. Some even keep secrets from family members out of fear of judgment or blame. This lack of transparency can lead to further isolation within relationships, as partners may feel betrayed by omissions or lies.
Despite these challenges, there are ways for soldiers to reconcile intimacy needs while managing trauma, injury, or dilemmas. First, soldiers should prioritize open communication with loved ones, allowing them to express thoughts and emotions freely without judgment. Couples counseling is also recommended for those experiencing difficulties connecting after deployment.
Some organizations provide support groups specifically designed for veterans and their families dealing with PTSD or moral injury. With effort and understanding on both sides, it is possible for soldiers to maintain healthy relationships despite the challenges of military service.
How do soldiers reconcile relational intimacy needs with experiences of operational trauma, moral injury, or ethical dilemmas?
Reconciling relational intimacy needs with experiences of operational trauma, moral injury, or ethical dilemmas can be challenging for soldiers. Soldiers often experience feelings of isolation and disconnection from loved ones during deployments and missions due to the high demands of their job, which can make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. This can lead to difficulties with trust, communication, and intimacy when they return home.