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SEXUAL BEHAVIORS: UNDERSTANDING SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS AND THEIR EFFECT ON INTIMACY

What are societal expectations?

Societal expectations refer to beliefs, attitudes, values, norms, customs, traditions, social standards, rules, laws, conventions, or codes that people consider normal and acceptable within their society. These expectations influence how people behave in different situations, including sexual behavior. Societies have developed these expectations through centuries of cultural evolution, religious doctrine, family structures, government policies, education systems, media representations, economics, and other factors.

How do societal expectations affect sexual behaviors?

Society has created many taboos around sex. People are expected to follow certain rules regarding when, where, who, how, what, why, and how much they should express or suppress their sexual desires.

Some societies expect men and women to only engage in heterosexual intercourse within marriage for procreation purposes. Others may accept homosexuality as long as it happens behind closed doors. Some may encourage premarital virginity while others allow extramarital affairs. Many still prohibit public displays of affection. In all cases, individuals feel pressure to act according to society's expectations even if they go against their personal preferences.

Pressure to be attractive

Many cultures place great importance on physical beauty and youthfulness. Women are expected to maintain a slim figure, dress in revealing clothing, wear makeup, and style their hair accordingly. Men are expected to look muscular, wear stylish clothes, groom themselves well, and possess financial stability. This can create tension between partners since one partner may feel inadequate compared to the other's looks or lifestyle. It also causes shame, anxiety, and depression among those who don't conform.

Pressure to perform sexually

People often feel ashamed or embarrassed about their own body, genitals, arousal levels, orgasm patterns, performance skills, and other aspects of sex. They might not know how to communicate their needs, fantasies, or boundaries with partners due to fear of judgment, rejection, or disappointment. Sexual standards have become more explicit through pornography, magazines, movies, music videos, social media posts, and other forms of entertainment that portray sex as exciting, spontaneous, athletic, creative, adventurous, passionate, or romantic. Individuals may feel pressured to live up to these ideals even if they don't meet them.

Pressure to be monogamous

Monogamy is still considered ideal by many societies despite high rates of infidelity and polygamy. People may feel ashamed or guilty if they desire multiple partners, want casual sex, or experiment with BDSM, polyamory, swinging, fetishes, kinks, or other alternative sexualities. Some societies expect people to remain celibate until marriage while others accept open relationships. Either way, individuals may face stigma, shaming, discrimination, or legal consequences for violating these norms.

How can we break free from societal expectations?

Individuals must learn to express themselves authentically without shame or judgement. This involves accepting personal desires, values, beliefs, preferences, boundaries, limitations, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses. It also means educating oneself about various sexual identities, orientations, practices, activities, products, tools, techniques, rituals, cultures, communities, histories, and research. By understanding the roots of society's expectations and challenging them, individuals can resist external pressure and develop healthy intimacy habits based on their own needs, wants, goals, and aspirations.

In what ways do societal expectations pressure individuals into expressing or suppressing certain sexual behaviors?

Societal expectations can be defined as the rules, norms, and standards that society has set for individuals to abide by. These expectations often dictate how people should behave and act in different situations, including their sexual behavior. In terms of sexuality, societal expectations can pressure individuals into expressing or suppressing certain sexual behaviors depending on factors such as gender, age, culture, religion, and socioeconomic status.

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