In long-term romantic relationships, many couples experience decreased frequency of sex after several years together.
Some individuals remain highly active even after decades. What is it about their relationship that helps them keep up interest?
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research explored this question through an examination of 219 heterosexual couples who had been together for at least seven years. It found that four main factors contribute to sustained sexual attraction over time: emotional closeness, physical affection, communication, and novelty seeking. Let's explore these factors in more detail.
Emotional closeness refers to how well partners understand each other's feelings and needs. In the study, couples who felt close to each other were more likely to report high levels of sexual activity. They were also less concerned about the need for perfect body appearance and performance during sex. This suggests that feeling connected emotionally can reduce anxiety and increase comfort during intimacy.
Physical affection includes touching, hugging, kissing, cuddling, and other forms of non-sexual contact. Couples who engaged in frequent physical interactions outside of sex reported higher levels of satisfaction with their sexual life. These behaviors create opportunities for connection and intimacy, which can lead to increased desire.
Communication involves openness, honesty, and expression of thoughts and feelings related to sexuality. Couples who discussed their desires and fantasies more frequently tended to have better sexual lives. This suggests that open dialogue about sex can help partners feel understood and supported, leading to greater enjoyment and fulfillment.
Novelty seeking refers to the pursuit of new experiences and activities. The study found that couples who engaged in diverse sexual practices (such as roleplay or experimentation) reported higher levels of sexual arousal and satisfaction. This suggests that trying new things together can keep relationships fresh and exciting.
The study highlights the importance of emotional, physical, and communicative connections between partners for maintaining sexual attraction over time. By prioritizing these factors, couples can build a strong foundation for healthy and satisfying sexual lives.
What relational dynamics help partners maintain sexual attention toward each other over time?
Relationships that are characterized by strong communication, trust, respect, and equality tend to have longer-lasting sexual attraction than relationships that lack these qualities. Couples who feel free to express their needs and desires with one another may be more likely to explore new ways of being intimate as they grow older. Additionally, couples who prioritize spending quality time together outside the bedroom and pursuing shared interests can also keep the spark alive in their relationship.