Believers have always been encouraged to practice abstinence until marriage. This has caused tension between their sexual desires and the teaching that sex is reserved for married couples only. Sexual intercourse was seen as sinful outside of marriage but there are also scriptures about loving thy neighbor and enjoying conjugal relations within it. So, how can believers reconcile these conflicting views?
The first thing believers need to understand is that God created human beings to desire companionship and sexual intimacy. He did not create them to be celibate robots who can suppress all urges. Our bodies crave physical contact and emotional connection through touch, smell, sight, sound, taste, and feel. Therefore, they must find ways to channel this natural curiosity into healthy, appropriate forms of intimacy.
One way is to focus on other aspects of life such as career development, education, social activities, hobbies, or sports. By cultivating personal interests, they can satisfy their creative and intellectual needs without seeking fulfillment through sex alone. It's important for believers to find meaning in life beyond mere pleasure and gratification.
Another approach is to set boundaries for themselves regarding what kind of relationships they will enter into. They may decide to refrain from dating casually or engaging in physical intimacy before marriage, but allow themselves to express affectionate feelings without crossing over into temptation.
Holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and embracing are acceptable if done with respect and restraint.
Prayer and meditation can help believers gain clarity on their thoughts and desires. Journaling or speaking openly with a trusted person can provide insight into their own mindset and behavior. Avoiding pornography, masturbation, and promiscuous situations can also increase self-control and strengthen moral character.
The Bible provides wisdom on how to navigate these challenges. Proverbs 5:18-20 cautions against lustful thoughts that lead to adultery and encourages husbands to cherish their wives. Song of Solomon describes erotic love between two married partners. Matthew 5:27-28 urges men to remain pure by avoiding even sexual temptations. James 4:1-3 warns against indulging in immorality as a sign of weakness.
Reconciling natural sexual curiosity with religious teachings requires balance, discipline, self-control, and discernment. By practicing patience and faith, believers can find joy in God's plan for human intimacy while honoring His commandments.