Sex is a powerful tool for manipulation, especially when it comes to gaining control over someone else's body or actions.
Many people tend to get more upset about intimate objects like vibrators and dildos than they do about methods of subtle coercion that are much less obvious. This essay explains why this is so and explores how both types of behavior can be harmful.
Some background information. Intimate devices are small objects used during sex acts to enhance pleasure. They include things like dildos, vibrators, strap-ons, and butt plugs, among others. Conventional forms of subtle coercion involve using social pressure, emotional blackmail, or other psychological tactics to manipulate someone into doing what you want them to do. These can range from simple requests ("Please pick up the groceries") to manipulative threats ("If you don't have sex with me, I'll leave").
The difference between these two behaviors is that one involves physical contact while the other doesn't.
Both can be incredibly destructive if misused.
If someone tries to force their partner to use an intimate device without their consent, it can feel invasive and violating. Likewise, if someone uses subtle coercion to convince their partner to engage in sexual acts they aren't comfortable with, it can also cause distress.
One reason that intimate devices provoke more outrage than conventional forms of subtle coercion may be because they are seen as more intrusive. When someone forces their partner to use a device against their will, it feels like an assault on their autonomy. It's also easier to see and recognize when something physically violates your body compared to when someone mentally pressures you. This makes it harder for people to deny or ignore.
Another factor is that intimate devices tend to bring up feelings about gender roles and power dynamics in relationships. Some see them as emasculating or degrading for men, while others see them as empowering for women. The use of intimate objects can also create tension within a relationship where one person wants to try new things but the other doesn't.
There is often a lot of emotional baggage associated with using these items.
It's important not to dismiss either type of behavior lightly. Both can lead to harm if used maliciously. Subtle coercion can make people feel trapped or manipulated, while intimate devices can be used to objectify and control people. In both cases, it's crucial to communicate openly and respectfully with partners about what activities are okay and which ones aren't.
Intimate devices can be controversial and upsetting because they represent a form of physical invasion and gender politics.
It's essential to remember that both behaviors should never be accepted or encouraged. No one deserves to have their boundaries crossed without consent, regardless of how subtle or overt the action may seem.
Why do intimate devices provoke more outrage than conventional forms of subtle coercion?
The widespread popularity and normalization of technology have contributed to their prevalence in modern society. While both traditional and technological methods may be used for subtle manipulation, people are more likely to react negatively to digital manipulation because it is perceived as an invasion of personal privacy. Intimate devices can easily access sensitive information from users' phones, computers, and social media accounts. This can cause feelings of paranoia, violation, and anxiety.