In today's world, military service is becoming more common, and many couples are faced with the challenge of dealing with long periods of separation due to deployments. While some may be able to maintain healthy relationships despite these challenges, others struggle to keep things together.
Research has shown that certain psychological factors can help predict successful relationships during frequent separations. In this article, we will explore these factors and provide practical tips for couples navigating this difficult situation.
1. Commitment: The most important factor in long-term relationship satisfaction and stability is commitment. When both partners are committed to each other and their relationship, they are more likely to work through challenges and stay connected even when apart. This means being willing to make sacrifices, communicate openly, and prioritize each other's needs. Without a strong foundation of commitment, it can be easy to become disconnected or give up on the relationship altogether.
2. Trust: Trust is also crucial in long-distance relationships. When one partner is deployed, it can be difficult to trust that they are still committed to the relationship and that there is no infidelity involved. Couples need to build trust through communication, honesty, and transparency. This includes sharing information about where they are, what they are doing, and who they are with. They should also establish boundaries around privacy and avoid unnecessary jealousy or suspicion.
3. Mutual support: Military life can be stressful and demanding, and having someone to lean on can make all the difference. Partners need to support each other emotionally, financially, and practically. This means offering encouragement, listening actively, and providing practical assistance such as household tasks or childcare. It also means being understanding when things get tough and recognizing that deployments take a toll on both parties.
4. Shared values: Shared values are another predictor of relationship success. When couples have similar beliefs and goals, they can better navigate conflicts and challenges together. This means discussing values early on in the relationship and making sure they align before making any major decisions. It also involves compromise and understanding that not everything will be perfect or agreeable.
5. Emotional intimacy: Emotional intimacy is important for building closeness and connection even when physically apart. Couples can stay connected through phone calls, video chats, letters, and other forms of communication. Sharing feelings, expressing emotions, and asking questions about each other's lives can help maintain this bond. It may also involve setting aside specific times for connecting, such as weekly check-ins or daily routines like a morning cup of coffee.
6. Flexibility:
Flexibility is key in long-distance relationships. Both partners need to be willing to adapt and adjust to changing circumstances. This includes accepting that deployments may last longer than expected or that plans may change at the last minute. It also means being open to new experiences, trying new things, and finding ways to keep the relationship exciting and fresh despite distance.
Frequent deployments can put strain on even the strongest relationships.
By focusing on commitment, trust, mutual support, shared values, emotional intimacy, and flexibility, couples can increase their chances of success. With patience, understanding, and effort, it is possible to maintain healthy and happy relationships even when miles apart.
What psychological factors predict long-term relationship satisfaction and stability during frequent deployment separations?
Psychological factors that have been shown to be associated with relationship stability during separation include attachment styles, communication patterns, coping strategies, self-esteem, perceived stress levels, and feelings of loneliness. Research suggests that individuals who possess secure attachments are more likely to maintain stable relationships despite periods of separation due to military service than those who exhibit anxious or avoidant tendencies (Aldwin & Kumashiro, 2008; Buehler et al.