Conflicting Moral Values
Sexual relationships are often shaped by differences in moral values between partners. These can include beliefs about what is right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable, desirable and undesirable, safe and unsafe, appropriate and inappropriate, enjoyable and disgusting, shameful and honorable, sacred and profane, etc. Such conflicting attitudes may arise from different cultural backgrounds, personal experiences, religious convictions, social norms, educational levels, professional occupations, generational affiliations, geographical locations, political opinions, psychological needs, emotional vulnerabilities, physical capabilities, and more. The resulting conflicts can be mild or extreme, temporary or permanent, conscious or subconscious, and even traumatic. They can lead to power struggles, manipulation tactics, compromises, resignations, breakups, reconciliations, or other forms of relationship dynamics. Each partner may feel confused, frustrated, sad, guilty, angry, fearful, ashamed, jealous, curious, or embarrassed.
When two people come together sexually, they bring their individual past into a shared present. This may involve sexual history, previous partners, family ties, childhood influences, religious conditioning, societal expectations, media exposure, peer pressures, peer approval, self-esteem issues, body image concerns, sexual orientation, gender identities, age gaps, income disparities, education disparities, and other factors that shape one's sense of belonging, worthiness, attractiveness, competence, security, agency, desire, pleasure, fulfillment, responsibility, respect, loyalty, exclusivity, commitment, satisfaction, intimacy, mutuality, and love. All these attributes contribute to the meaning attached to their sexual encounter. They add up to create an overall feeling about their connection, which can range from mere casual fun to intense romance.
Conflicting moral values may limit the type of sex that is allowed in the relationship.
A conservative person may refuse anal intercourse because it feels wrong to them while their partner considers it part of normal sex play. Another example could be a strict Christian couple who refuses to use condoms during intercourse despite being aware of its health benefits. A more extreme scenario might involve a woman who insists on open relationships with multiple partners while her husband wants monogamy. These differences can lead to conflicts, arguments, betrayals, lies, breakups, or even violence. It is important for couples to communicate openly and honestly about their moral beliefs before getting too involved physically.
How do conflicting moral values between partners shape the meaning they attach to their sexual relationship?
In any romantic relationship where both individuals have different sets of moral values, it is possible for them to experience a conflict. These differences can influence how each partner perceives the same thing differently, including their sexual encounters. When one individual has beliefs that are contrary to those held by the other, there might be misunderstandings about what constitutes acceptable or unacceptable behavior.