Reestablishing Relationships after Military Deployment Cycles
In today's fast-paced world, many couples face difficulties in maintaining strong relationships due to busy schedules, lack of communication, and differences in interests.
For military families whose partners are deployed for months or even years at a time, this challenge is multiplied tenfold. During deployment, soldiers experience significant changes in their lifestyles that impact both personal and professional life. This can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, and depression, which can be difficult to overcome upon returning home. In addition, family members often struggle to reconnect with loved ones who have been away for extended periods, leading to strained relationships. To combat these issues, service members must take intentional steps towards rebuilding relational routines disrupted by deployment cycles. Here are some strategies that may help.
1. Communicate openly and honestly: Before departure, discuss what the upcoming separation will mean for your relationship. Talk about your expectations, fears, and hopes for when you return. Share as much information as possible regarding your daily activities, schedule, and emotions throughout the deployment period. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings too. Use technology such as video calls, text messages, and social media to stay connected regularly.
2. Plan reunions: When deployments end, spend time together planning how you want to rebuild your relationship. Set aside specific days and times to catch up on each other's lives without interruptions from others or distractions. Discuss ways to keep yourselves occupied during down time so you don't fall into old patterns of behavior. Create new traditions like date nights or outings to do something fun together.
3. Practice patience and empathy: After months apart, it can take time to reestablish trust and intimacy. Be patient with your partner and give them space to adjust back into civilian life before jumping straight into talking about problems. Understand that they may need time alone to process their experiences and missions. Let them express their emotions without judgment and offer support where needed. Try not to compare yourself to your military spouse - everyone's experience is unique and valid in its own way.
4. Incorporate physical touch: Reconnect physically by hugging, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and having sex. Physical contact helps build a sense of safety and security after being away for long periods. It also shows appreciation for your partner and reminds you both why you love each other. This should be done gradually and respectfully if one person has been abstinent due to deployment restrictions.
5. Keep family routines: Maintaining regular schedules such as dinner times or movie nights can help create a sense of normalcy for the whole family. Continue doing things that make you happy together, whether it's going on hikes or cooking meals at home. Don't forget special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries! Celebrating milestones can strengthen bonds between partners who have experienced traumatic events together.
6. Seek professional help: If difficulties persist beyond six months post-deployment, seek assistance from mental health professionals. They can provide tools to improve communication skills and work through past issues that resurface during separation periods. Therapy is especially helpful when there are children involved, as they may feel abandoned or neglected while parents are apart.
Rebuilding relational routines after deployment cycles requires intentional effort from both parties. Be patient with each other, empathetic towards their experiences, and willing to take risks by trying new activities. With time and dedication, military couples can overcome obstacles and deepen their relationships despite distance or time apart.
How do service members rebuild relational routines disrupted by deployment cycles?
Reintegration into civilian life after deployment can be challenging for military personnel as they experience changes in their daily routine and relationships with others. Service members may struggle with adjusting to civilian life due to the unique experiences they have had during deployment. This can include difficulties in maintaining healthy communication patterns, establishing new routines, and managing expectations from family and friends who are not familiar with the demands of military service.