How partners can rebuild relational trust and sexual intimacy after trauma or ethically challenging experiences
By Dr. Samantha Smith, PhD., Licensed Psychologist
After experiencing traumatic events or ethically challenging experiences that undermine relational trust, such as infidelity, cheating, abuse, coercion, violence, manipulation, exploitation, dishonesty, deceit, betrayal, or mistreatment, it is crucial for couples to work together towards rebuilding their relationship. Rebuilding trust in a relationship involves communication, understanding, honesty, transparency, forgiveness, and mutual effort. Partners should be willing to make amends and commit to working together to improve their relationship and overcome obstacles. Here are some steps they can take to rebuild relational trust and sexual intimacy:
* Establish open communication: Couples need to communicate honestly and regularly about their thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires related to the relationship. They should listen actively to each other without interruption and judge one another. Open and transparent discussions help build a foundation of trust between them.
* Address the underlying issues: Trauma and unethical behaviors often stem from unaddressed emotional and psychological problems, which require professional help. Partners should seek therapy or counseling to address any mental health conditions or past traumas that may have contributed to their behavior. They should also explore how their actions impacted their partner's well-being and work on repairing damaged relationships with family members and friends.
* Prioritize healing: After trauma, partners may need time and space to process and heal before resuming sexual activities. They should respect each other's boundaries and preferences and avoid pressuring each other to engage in sexual activity until both feel ready. Healing requires patience, empathy, and compassion.
* Rekindle affection: Physical touch and intimate gestures such as hugs, kisses, and handholding can help couples reconnect emotionally. Partners can try new things, like date nights, massages, or sensual activities to restore their physical attraction.
* Explore safe sex practices: Partners who have been hurt may not be comfortable with certain sexual activities, so they must establish safe practices that allow for pleasure without fear. Discussion and negotiation are essential, including using protection, setting limits, and understanding each other's desires.
* Rebuild emotional safety: Trust is built through consistent and dependable behavior over time. Couples should focus on building trust by being reliable, responsible, accountable, predictable, honest, and consistent. This means following through on promises, keeping commitments, being present, and making efforts to meet needs.
* Practice forgiveness: Forgiving a partner does not mean forgetting the offense or ignoring its consequences. It involves acknowledging the wrongdoing and choosing to let go of anger and resentment. Forgiveness takes effort and patience but allows partners to move forward together.
Rebuilding relational trust and sexual intimacy after trauma or ethically challenging experiences requires patience, compassion, and understanding from both partners. By working together, couples can create a safe space for healing, growth, and intimacy.
How do partners rebuild relational trust and sexual intimacy after trauma or ethically challenging experiences?
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and it can be damaged by many factors including betrayal, infidelity, and abuse. Rebuilding trust requires time, patience, and commitment from both partners. It involves being open and honest with each other about feelings and vulnerabilities, practicing empathy and active listening, setting boundaries, and establishing healthy communication patterns.