What does it mean to hope queerly, without guarantees, in a world structured around heteronormative futurity? Hope is a powerful force that can motivate people to achieve their goals and aspirations despite obstacles and challenges.
When it comes to sexuality and relationships, hope is often tied to certain expectations and assumptions about what constitutes "normal" or "acceptable." In this essay, we will explore how individuals who identify as queer can navigate the complexities of hope in a society that privileges cishetero normativity.
Let's define some key terms. The word "queer" has been used historically to describe marginalized groups within LGBTQ+ communities, including those who do not conform to societal gender roles and sexual norms. It is also used as an umbrella term for anyone who identifies outside of traditional categories of gender and sexuality. Heteronormativity refers to the assumption that all individuals are either male or female and that romantic and sexual attraction should be exclusively between members of opposite genders. Futurity refers to the idea that time progresses towards a future state, where events and experiences accumulate into larger patterns and meanings.
In a heteronormative culture, hope often revolves around finding a partner with whom one can form a family unit, have children, and establish a stable home life. This type of hope is based on the belief that there is a clear pathway to achieving these goals and that they are desirable and rewarding. For many queer individuals, however, this path may be more difficult to follow due to discrimination, stigma, and lack of acceptance from wider society. As a result, their hopes may be limited by their circumstances or shaped by their experiences of oppression.
A person who identifies as non-binary might struggle to find someone who understands and accepts their identity, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. A transgender individual might face rejection from potential partners because of their gender presentation or expression, creating a sense of hopelessness about ever finding true love. Similarly, someone who is polyamorous may experience social pressure to choose just one partner, even if it goes against their values and beliefs. These challenges can lead to a sense of hopelessness about the possibility of building a meaningful relationship in the future.
Despite these challenges, some queer individuals still hold onto hope for positive outcomes in their personal lives. They may focus on finding ways to build community, support systems, and networks that allow them to connect with others who share similar experiences and perspectives. They may also prioritize self-care and emotional well-being, recognizing that fulfillment and happiness do not always come from romantic relationships. Some may choose to embrace the uncertainty of their futures, accepting that life is unpredictable and that they cannot control everything that happens to them.
Hope queerly requires a willingness to challenge traditional expectations and assumptions about what constitutes "normal" sexuality and relationships. It involves embracing ambiguity and complexity while holding tight to one's own values and desires. It means being open to new possibilities and opportunities, even when they seem unlikely or impossible. By rejecting heteronormative norms and embracing our own identities, we can cultivate a more expansive and hopeful vision for ourselves and our communities.
What does it mean to hope queerly, without guarantees, in a world structured around heteronormative futurity?
It means that people who identify as LGBTQIA+ have different hopes than those who identify as heterosexual and cisgender. This can include a desire for more social acceptance, greater representation in media and politics, and access to resources like healthcare and legal protection. Despite this, there are no guarantees of achieving these goals due to ongoing discrimination, prejudice, and violence against the community.