Throughout human history, queer ways of feeling have been stigmatized and marginalized by society due to their perceived threat to traditional norms and values.
These alternative modes of expression can also challenge the very foundations of moral thinking, suggesting that morality is not just about reason and logic but also involves emotion and embodiment. In this article, I will explore how queer ways of feeling can challenge conventional moral frameworks by examining different aspects of queer experiences, such as non-binary gender identities, fluid sexual orientations, kink and BDSM practices, and polyamory. By understanding how these forms of experience disrupt conventional binaries and categories, we can begin to recognize that morality is not just something that exists outside of ourselves but is inherently intertwined with our emotions and bodies.
Let's consider non-binary gender identity, which challenges the idea that there are only two genders - male and female. Non-binary individuals may identify as neither male nor female or may see themselves as falling somewhere between these poles. This rejection of binary gender categories challenges the assumption that gender is fixed and determined solely by biology. Instead, it suggests that gender is fluid and can be expressed in a variety of ways.
Someone who identifies as agender might reject all gender labels and refuse to participate in societal expectations based on their assigned sex at birth. Similarly, someone who identifies as demiboy or demigirl might feel partially masculine or feminine, respectively. By recognizing the diversity of human experience when it comes to gender, non-binary individuals force us to reconsider traditional ideas of what constitutes "normal" or acceptable behavior.
Let's look at fluid sexual orientation, which challenges the notion that sexual desire is fixed and immutable. Someone who identifies as pansexual, for instance, does not limit their attraction to one specific gender or gender expression. Instead, they are attracted to people regardless of their gender identity or presentation. Similarly, someone who identifies as omnisexual experiences attraction across multiple genders and/or sexes. These alternative sexual orientations highlight how sexual desire cannot be reduced to a set of predetermined rules or categories but is instead a complex interplay of personal desires and attractions.
Queer intimacy practices such as kink and BDSM also challenge our understanding of morality. Kink involves consensual acts that deviate from mainstream cultural norms, including bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism, and other forms of erotic play. While some may consider these activities immoral or harmful, practitioners see them as healthy expressions of power dynamics and pleasure. In polyamory, multiple partners engage in committed relationships without jealousy or possessiveness. This practice challenges the idea that monogamy is inherently moral and that jealousy is an unavoidable byproduct of love. By rejecting social norms around intimacy and embracing diverse forms of connection, queer communities demonstrate that morality is not just about adhering to societal expectations but can involve individual choice and self-expression.
We must consider how non-monogamous relationships can disrupt conventional moral frameworks. Polyamorous individuals may engage in romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at once, challenging the idea that exclusivity is essential for healthy relationships. While this practice has been stigmatized and criminalized throughout history, it allows people to explore their sexuality and relationships on their own terms rather than being constrained by societal expectations. Polyamorous individuals may prioritize honesty, communication, and mutual respect over traditional definitions of fidelity, suggesting that morality can be more complex than a simple binary between cheating and faithfulness.
Queer ways of feeling have much to teach us about the nature of morality. They challenge traditional ideas about gender, sexuality, and relationships, forcing us to reconsider our assumptions about what constitutes "normal" behavior. These alternative modes of expression remind us that morality is not only rational but also emotional and embodied, rooted in personal experience and individual choices. By recognizing the diversity of human experience, we can begin to create more inclusive and equitable moral frameworks that account for all types of individuals and experiences.
How do queer ways of feeling teach that morality is not only rational but emotional and embodied?
There are many different ways to feel as a human being, including sexual orientation, gender identity, romantic preferences, etc. Queer individuals may have experiences that differ from those of cisgender heterosexual individuals, and their feelings can be influenced by various factors such as upbringing, social norms, and personal values.