What is a queer friendship, chosen family, or networked intimacy, and why does it matter that these different forms of relationship exist? Queer friendships, chosen families, and networked intimacies have been used to describe nontraditional relationships between people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, agender, and asexual (LGBTQIA+), but they can also apply to cis-heterosexual people whose social networks don't fit into traditional nuclear family models. These alternative forms of relationship highlight how individuals create their own communities and support systems outside of blood-ties when their biological kin are insufficient, absent, or harmful.
Queer friendships often form based on shared experiences, interests, values, or identities. Chosen families can be defined as intentional communities formed by LGBTQIA+ individuals seeking emotional and material support beyond blood relations. Networked intimacies refer to the ways in which individuals build relationships through digital communication platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Snapchat, Grindr, Scruff, or Tinder. All three types of relationships involve creating new bonds and connections that can provide care, connection, belonging, love, and community.
Queer friendships may involve physical intimacy, while chosen families might include financial assistance or childcare responsibilities. Networked intimacies may focus on shared interests and activities rather than physical proximity.
All three types of relationships show that friendship and family are not limited to blood ties. The architecture of these kinds of relationships reveals new possibilities for belonging that challenge dominant cultural narratives about what it means to belong and be part of a family.
Chosen families and networked intimacies disrupt heteronormative assumptions about marriage and parenting and offer alternatives to nuclear families centered around the nuclear family. They emphasize the importance of intentional community building and create new spaces for non-traditional forms of social organization. Queer friendships, chosen families, and networked intimacies also reflect broader shifts in contemporary society towards more fluid and flexible ideas of identity, sexuality, gender, and relationship structures. These alternative forms of relationship demonstrate how people can create their own definitions of family and community outside of traditional norms.
Queer friendships, chosen families, and networked intimacies have been important for LGBTQIA+ individuals who face discrimination and stigma due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. They provide support systems beyond biological kinship and challenge heteronormativity by offering models of non-binary forms of relating. Chosen families and networked intimacies allow individuals to find community and support in ways that would otherwise be difficult if they were solely dependent on their biological relatives. These different forms of relationship offer unique insights into the possibilities of kinship beyond bloodlines.
What do queer friendships, chosen families and networked intimacies reveal about the architecture of belonging when blood‑ties are insufficient, absent or harmful?
Queer friendships, chosen families, and networked intimacies can offer new perspectives on traditional notions of family and social support systems. They allow individuals to create communities that reflect their identities and values, provide mutual care and empathy, and challenge dominant norms around gender, sexuality, race, class, and other factors. These networks often form out of necessity due to exclusion from conventional family structures, but they also represent a rejection of rigid definitions of kinship.