Sexual Challenges for Couples With An Actively Deployed Partner
Couples with one partner deployed face specific challenges that can make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship and fulfilling sex life. Here's how to navigate these issues and stay connected.
1) Lack of Physical Intimacy
When a partner is away, physical intimacy becomes much more difficult. While there may be some physical contact through letters and video chats, it isn't the same as being together physically. This lack of touch can cause feelings of distance between partners and lead to emotional disconnection.
2) Uncertainty and Insecurity
Deployment creates uncertainty and instability, making both partners feel insecure about their future together. The deployed partner may wonder if they will return safely, while the non-deployed partner may worry about when they will see them again. This uncertainty can lead to anxiety, stress, and depression, which impacts all areas of life, including sexuality.
3) Lack of Privacy
In the midst of deployment, privacy is limited. The couple must share information about the military situation with others, creating tension and awkwardness.
Friends and family often ask questions about the partner who is away. This lack of privacy makes it hard to have open communication about sensitive topics like sex.
4) Communication Issues
Without regular communication, couples may struggle to connect emotionally. This lack of connection can also impact sexual intimacy because it's easier to talk about deep desires and needs with someone you are comfortable with. When a partner is gone, those conversations become challenging or impossible.
5) Differing Sexual Needs
Couples who don't regularly communicate may find themselves on different pages regarding their sexual needs. When one partner is away for an extended period, the other may develop interests that seem foreign to them upon their return. Miscommunications, misunderstandings, and frustration can result from this disparity.
6) Emotional Disconnect
The separation of deployment causes emotional distance between partners. While video chats and letters can help bridge the gap, they aren't enough. Without physical contact, it's easy to grow distant and disconnected emotionally, leading to a loss of interest in each other romantically and sexually.
7) Feelings of Guilt
When a partner returns from deployment, they may feel guilty for enjoying intimacy without the deployed partner there. This guilt can create barriers to reconnecting physically and emotionally, further damaging the relationship. It's essential for both partners to process these feelings together to avoid long-term issues.
8) Injuries and Illnesses
Deployment can lead to injuries and illnesses that affect sexual function. These issues require open communication between partners to address and manage. If a partner isn't forthcoming about their health concerns, it could harm the relationship and lead to resentment.
9) Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Coping mechanisms are necessary when dealing with deployment, but some unhealthy habits can damage relationships. Alcoholism, drug use, excessive gambling, or infidelity can all have negative consequences on a couple's sex life and connection. Avoiding these behaviors is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship.
10) Military Culture
Military culture often dictates how soldiers behave and think about sex. Some military members may find it difficult to talk about sexual needs due to the stigma around talking about sex within the community. This stigma can make it challenging for couples to discuss their desires and negotiate their physical relationship.
Solutions for Sexual Challenges
To overcome these sexual challenges, couples need to communicate honestly, regularly, and effectively. They should prioritize privacy, build trust, and practice open communication. When possible, they should seek professional help from a therapist who specializes in military-related trauma or intimacy problems.
What sexual challenges are unique to couples with an actively deployed partner?
One of the most significant unique challenges faced by couples with an actively deployed partner is the fear of being alone, which can lead to feelings of anxiety, isolation, and sadness. This challenge is especially prevalent during deployment periods where partners have limited contact with their loved ones and may not know when they will be able to return home safely.