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OVERCOMING SEXUAL ATTRACTION OUTSIDE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP: NAVIGATING MORAL VALUES & DESIRES WITH GUILTFREE CLARITY

2 min read Lesbian

When sexual attraction develops towards an individual outside the relational structure that is valued, it can create internal conflicts for the person experiencing it. These conflicts involve feelings of guilt, confusion, and ambivalence due to the potential disruption to existing social or emotional commitments. This may result in a struggle between moral values and desires, leading to emotional distress and uncertainty about how to navigate this situation.

Causes of Internal Conflicts

The causes of internal conflict vary depending on the context and individual's perspective. One reason could be a lack of clarity regarding their own sexual orientation or preferences.

Someone who identifies as straight but experiences sexual attraction towards someone of the same gender might question their identity and feel confused about their true desires. Another possible cause is cultural norms and values that condemn certain types of relationships or encourage monogamy. This creates a sense of pressure to conform to societal expectations and suppress one's own desires.

Effects of Internal Conflict

Internal conflict caused by emerging sexual attraction can have various effects on individuals. It can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It can also strain existing relationships, causing tension with partners or family members who do not support the new attraction.

It can impact decision-making and life choices, making it difficult to act on impulses or pursue new relationships without feeling guilty or ashamed.

Coping Strategies

Coping strategies for dealing with internal conflict depend on the individual's needs and preferences. Some people seek counseling or therapy to explore their feelings and work through the emotions involved. Others turn to friends, family, or online communities for support and validation. Still, others choose to ignore or suppress their feelings altogether, attempting to continue in their current relationship while hiding any attractions outside it.

This approach often leads to further distress, resentment, and potential infidelity if left unaddressed.

Internal conflicts regarding emerging sexual attraction are complex and multifaceted. They require patience, self-awareness, and honest communication to address effectively. By understanding the causes and effects of these conflicts, individuals can begin to navigate them positively and create a path forward that honors both their desires and values.

How do individuals experience internal conflict when sexual attraction emerges outside the relational structure they value?

According to psychoanalytic theory, people often experience anxiety and guilt when facing romantic feelings that contradict their personal beliefs about love and relationships. This can lead to self-doubt, confusion, and cognitive dissonance, as they may feel like their desires are wrong or unacceptable. Additionally, external pressures such as social norms or religious views can add to this inner struggle by shaming or judging non-traditional attractions.

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