How to Handle Mismatched Sexual Desires With Your Partner
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You've started dating someone new. They seem great! You have lots of interests in common and things are going well. But then, you start realizing that they just don't seem that into sex like you are. Or maybe it's the other way around - you're much more eager than your partner for certain acts, but they aren't so sure about them. So what do you do? Here are some tips for handling mismatched sexual desires with your partner.
* Be honest
First and foremost, be open and honest with your partner about your needs and wants. If you need more physical affection, let them know. If they want to explore something you don't want to try, tell them. This can feel awkward sometimes, but if you want to keep your relationship healthy, you should be able to talk about these things without shame or fear. Try using "I statements" like "I really enjoy doing X," instead of accusing them of anything wrong.
* Focus on other aspects of intimacy
Sex is important, but it isn't everything. Maybe you both love cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. Focus on those activities together, and see where that takes you. Maybe your partner will get turned on by all that close contact and end up wanting more sex after all. Or maybe not, which leads us to.
* Be patient
If your partner just doesn't want sex as often as you do, give them time to come around. Everyone has their own natural pace when it comes to intimate relationships, and pushing someone into doing something they don't want can backfire. Let them take the lead a bit more, and suggest new ways of being intimate that focus on non-sexual things.
Over time, you might find that your partner becomes more open to different acts or simply learns to appreciate them even if they aren't their main thing.
* Compromise
Maybe neither of you are interested in certain things, but there are some acts that one of you does like while the other feels neutral about. In this case, consider taking turns - having sex once every two weeks or so for now rather than the desired four times per week. You may also be willing to try out something new that the other person wants. This shows that you care about their needs too, and can help build trust.
* Find other partners
This is controversial advice, because some people believe it's best to keep everything between just you and your partner. But others think that polyamory (having multiple romantic/sexual partners) can actually benefit a relationship. If neither of you can compromise enough to meet each other's desires, perhaps seeking other lovers who fit those desires better could work. Just make sure everyone involved understands what's going on and agrees beforehand!
Ultimately, mismatched sexual desires are common in relationships. It's up to both parties to figure out how to deal with them. Be honest, patient, and compassionate, and hopefully you'll find a way forward together. Good luck!
How do you handle mismatched sexual desires with a partner?
There are several ways in which couples can navigate through mismatched sexual desires and maintain their relationship. One way is by communicating openly and honestly about each other's preferences and trying to find compromises that work for both parties. It is important to remember that it is normal for people to have different levels of libido and sex drives and what works for one may not work for another.