The notion that a person can simultaneously have both an intimate relationship and be an active member of the armed forces seems like a paradox. Military life demands physical and mental toughness, selfless sacrifice, and strict adherence to rules and procedures; while being in a committed relationship requires one to share personal feelings, support one's partner through difficult times, and allow oneself to be vulnerable.
Many individuals find ways to reconcile these seemingly contradictory expectations, and this article will explore how they do so. Firstly, it is important to understand what emotional resilience means for soldiers. In a military setting, resiliency refers to the ability to cope with stressful situations without breaking down mentally or emotionally. This includes maintaining composure under pressure, staying focused on the task at hand, and being able to adjust quickly to changing circumstances. This does not mean that soldiers are robotic or unfeeling; rather, they must learn to manage their emotions effectively. Secondly, emotional closeness involves sharing deep thoughts and feelings with another person and feeling connected to them on a profound level. It also entails trust, intimacy, and mutual respect. While it may seem challenging to balance these two aspects of life, there are several strategies that soldiers use to achieve both. One approach is to establish clear boundaries between work and home life. By creating separate spaces for each aspect of their lives, soldiers can better compartmentalize their experiences and avoid bringing work-related stresses into their relationships. Another strategy is to prioritize communication with loved ones, whether by phone calls, video chats, or letters.
Some soldiers find comfort in connecting with other service members who understand their unique challenges and support them emotionally.
Balancing military life and intimate relationships requires discipline, flexibility, and intentionality, but it is possible with the right mindset and effort.
How do individuals reconcile their desire for emotional closeness with the military expectation of emotional resilience and stoicism?
Emotional closeness is defined as a sense of connectedness with others that may result in feeling comfortable, secure, and supported by them (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Individuals who desire it seek close relationships, which are based on trust, empathy, and communication between partners (Petrovic et al. , 2017).