Social Expectations and Military Spouse Communication During Deployment
The experience of being married to someone serving in the military is unique compared to civilian life. One important aspect of this difference is the impact that deployments have on communication between partners. While many people may think that deployments are an opportunity for couples to reconnect after long periods apart, it can also be a source of stress and tension if they fail to meet the social expectations placed upon them. These social norms dictate what behaviors are considered appropriate during deployment and can affect how spouses interact with each other. In this article, I will explore these norms and their effects on military spouses' communication patterns.
Social Expectations
One common expectation surrounding deployments is that spouses should maintain contact with their partner through regular emails and phone calls. This can put pressure on both parties as they try to communicate while juggling busy schedules or difficult living conditions. Some couples may feel guilty if they don't send messages often enough, even though there are legitimate reasons why it might not be possible.
Service members who are deployed in remote locations may lack access to reliable internet connection or electricity, making it difficult to use technology to stay connected.
Some families may face financial constraints that make purchasing calling cards or paying for data plans challenging. These factors can contribute to feelings of guilt and anxiety, which can lead to strained relationships.
Another expectation is that spouses should show support for their partner by being understanding and patient throughout the duration of the deployment. This means putting aside personal issues and focusing solely on supporting their loved one's mission. Spouses may feel like they need to hide any problems or concerns they have from their partner so as not to distract them from their work. They may avoid sharing negative emotions or experiences, even if doing so would help relieve stress. This can create an atmosphere of secrecy and isolation within the relationship, leading to a lack of trust and intimacy.
Many social expectations revolve around how much time partners spend apart during a deployment. Service members may feel obligated to keep themselves occupied with work or other activities to prevent feeling lonely or bored. This can result in less communication between the couple, further straining the relationship. Spouses may also worry about what their partner is doing without them and become jealous or suspicious, despite having no reason to believe anything untoward is happening.
Communication Patterns
The effects of these social norms on military spouse communication patterns can be significant. Couples who struggle to meet these expectations may find themselves drifting apart emotionally and physically. They may feel disconnected from each other and unable to express themselves fully. This can cause resentment and frustration, leading to conflict when the service member returns home. It can also affect parenting, as children may sense tension and stress in the household. Parents may have difficulty communicating effectively with their kids, which can lead to behavioral problems or academic struggles.
Couples who are able to navigate these pressures successfully may find that deployments strengthen their relationships. They may develop new ways of communicating that allow for greater understanding and empathy. They may learn to prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to contact, focusing more on meaningful conversations rather than frequency of messages.
They may become better at supporting each other through difficult situations, deepening their bond as individuals and parents.
The social expectations placed upon military spouses during deployment can shape how they communicate with each other. While some norms may benefit couples by providing structure and support, others can create unnecessary pressure and anxiety. Couples need to be aware of these factors to ensure healthy communication patterns during this challenging time. By working together to balance expectations and focus on meeting each other's needs, they can build a strong foundation for a long and happy marriage.
How do social expectations placed on military spouses shape communication patterns during deployment?
Social expectations can play a significant role in shaping communication patterns between couples who are apart due to deployments. Military spouses may be expected to take care of household chores and responsibilities while their partners are away, leading them to feel isolated and overwhelmed with stress. They also often have to manage family life alone, which requires them to communicate effectively with children and other relatives.