One day, two people are sitting down for dinner after a long day of work. One is dressed in camouflage fatigues with a rifle hanging from their shoulder, while the other is dressed in civilian clothes. They discuss how they both have different approaches to dealing with stressors that come up during their time apart due to their jobs. The one who works in the military prefers to keep things bottled up inside, whereas the one who doesn't feels more comfortable expressing their emotions through conversation. While this can be challenging when it comes to communication between them, these couples learn to adapt in order to make sure that each person gets what they need out of their relationship.
Adaptation Strategies
Military couples often face unique challenges when it comes to coping strategies due to the nature of their jobs. One common challenge is having differing reactions to stressors such as deployments or long hours away from home. In some cases, one partner may prefer to talk about their feelings openly while the other may prefer to keep them to themselves. This can lead to misunderstandings and frustration if not addressed properly.
There are several ways that military couples can adapt to these mismatched coping strategies.
One strategy that can help military couples deal with mismatched coping strategies is active listening. When one partner talks about their experiences, the other should actively listen without interrupting or offering advice. By doing so, the listener shows empathy towards the speaker and allows them to feel heard and understood.
Active listening helps build trust within the relationship since each partner knows that they can count on the other to truly hear them out.
Seek Support
Another way for military couples to deal with mismatched coping strategies is by seeking support outside of the relationship.
A spouse who prefers to bottle up their emotions might seek counseling or therapy to work through any issues they may be experiencing. Alternatively, a spouse who likes to express themselves verbally could join a support group for military families. Finding an outlet outside of the relationship can provide a much-needed break from the stresses of daily life and give each person time to process their thoughts and feelings independently.
Communicate Openly
Communication is key in any successful relationship, but it's especially important when dealing with mismatched coping strategies. Military couples should make sure to communicate openly and honestly with each other about how they're feeling at all times, even if it means sharing things that may be difficult to discuss. Being transparent about one's needs and desires can prevent misunderstandings and allow both partners to find ways to meet those needs together.
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is another important strategy for military couples with differing coping strategies. This means being clear about what each person wants and needs in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
One partner may need more alone time than the other, while the other may prefer more quality time together. By setting these boundaries early on, both parties will know what to expect from the relationship and can adjust accordingly.
Make Time for Each Other
Making time for each other is essential for any couple looking to strengthen their bond. Whether it's going on dates regularly or simply spending weekends away from work, taking time off to focus on your relationship can help build intimacy and trust between you. It also allows you to reconnect after long periods apart due to work or deployments. Making time for each other can be challenging with operational constraints, but it's worth the effort in the end.
How do military couples adapt to mismatched coping strategies under operational constraints?
Due to the unique challenges that arise from operating together within a cohesive unit, many military couples have developed different ways of coping with stress and pressure. Some members may prefer to express their feelings by talking through them with their spouse or seeking professional help, while others may be more comfortable bottling up their emotions until they can discuss them later.