In many cultures around the world, marriage is considered sacred and honorable. It is believed that God created man and woman to be together and support each other through life's ups and downs.
What happens when there are conflicting desires within the couple regarding sex and religion? Can they navigate them without breaking their faith? This article will examine the effects of personal sexual desire versus religious/moral codes on marital intimacy and how couples can psychologically navigate these tensions.
The first thing to consider is how the Bible addresses sexual relations between husband and wife. In Genesis 2:24-25, it says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Marriage is meant to be a union between two people, becoming one body in mind, spirit, and soul. Sexual intercourse should occur within this union for procreation purposes. Ephesians 5:3 encourages husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, which means loving them unconditionally and sacrificially. Proverbs 5:18-19 warns against adultery because it damages the sanctity of marriage. It states, "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love." These verses suggest that sexual pleasure is not only acceptable but also encouraged within marriage.
Many religions prohibit premarital or extramarital sex, masturbation, and homosexual behavior. Some believe that sex outside of marriage is sinful, so even if a person desires to have sex with someone before marriage, they must resist those urges. They may feel guilty about feeling sexual desire towards anyone other than their spouse.
Muslims are taught to avoid any physical contact before marriage except touching hands and feet, and they are forbidden from having more than four permanent wives. The Koran says, "Marry women of your choice, two or three or four" (4:3). In Islam, sex is seen as a necessary act for reproduction and bonding between partners after marriage, but it should not be enjoyed too much lest one becomes distracted by it.
Such conflicting views can lead to tension in marriages. One partner may want more intimacy while the other wants less, leading to resentment on both sides. There could be feelings of guilt and shame when desires clash with religious beliefs. Couples must learn how to communicate openly about their needs without making the other uncomfortable. They can set boundaries regarding what is acceptable and discuss ways to meet each other's needs.
One partner may enjoy watching pornography, while the other does not approve. This leads to conflict if there is no compromise.
Couples who remain faithful and respectful toward each other can overcome such difficulties and maintain a healthy relationship.
How did conflicts between personal sexual desire and religious or moral codes influence marital intimacy, and how were these tensions psychologically navigated?
Historically, many religions have frowned upon premarital sex and extra-marital affairs, while some cultures have viewed them as normal and acceptable, even expected. These diverging views on sexuality can create conflicting expectations within a marriage.