Relational Recalibration in Soldiers' Marriages
A soldier's deployment is a major life event that can have profound impacts on their marriage. While many people imagine a romanticized version of military service, the reality often involves long periods of separation, stressful living conditions, and dangerous missions that take an emotional toll on both the soldier and their spouse. This can lead to significant changes in the relationship dynamic, which may require partners to adapt and recalibrate their expectations. In this article, we will explore how soldiers manage relational recalibration when their coping mechanisms diverge from pre-deployment expectations.
Pre-Deployment Expectations
Prior to a deployment, most couples have certain ideas about how they want their relationship to be maintained while apart. They may assume that regular communication will keep them emotionally connected, for example, or that mutual support during difficult times will strengthen their bond.
These assumptions may no longer hold true once the soldier is deployed, as the couple faces new challenges that were not anticipated.
Coping Mechanisms During Deployment
During a deployment, soldiers are likely to experience high levels of stress and anxiety due to the nature of their work. To cope with these feelings, they may develop strategies such as withdrawing emotionally or avoiding discussions of personal issues. Their spouses, meanwhile, may feel frustrated by this lack of openness and struggle to maintain intimacy and closeness. These different coping mechanisms can cause tension and resentment within the relationship, leading to a need for relational recalibration.
Relational Recalibration Strategies
To effectively recalibrate their relationship, partners must first acknowledge the differences between their pre-deployment expectations and the reality of military service. This can involve openly communicating about their needs and desires, setting realistic goals for their time together, and seeking professional help if needed. Partners should also focus on developing new ways to connect, such as shared hobbies, physical activities, or virtual date nights. It may take time and effort to rebuild trust and intimacy after a deployment, but the process can ultimately bring the couple closer together.
Relational recalibration requires patience, understanding, and commitment from both partners. By working through the challenges posed by military service together, couples can emerge stronger than ever before. With the right support and communication, even the most difficult deployments can be navigated successfully, allowing the marriage to thrive in spite of the obstacles.
How do partners manage relational recalibration when soldiers' coping mechanisms diverge from pre-deployment expectations?
Relational recalibration is a process by which partners adjust their relationships with returning service members as they experience changes in communication styles, lifestyles, values, and priorities that result from deployment experiences. This can be challenging for partners who have not anticipated these differences and may feel uncomfortable or uncertain about how to respond. When couples' coping mechanisms diverge during this time, it can lead to misunderstandings, tension, and conflict.