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How can LGBT couples sustain emotional closeness during lengthy separations caused by military deployment? Military service often involves prolonged periods away from home, but for those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, or another non-heteronormative gender identity, being apart from their partner can cause particular challenges. This article explores ways that members of LGBTQ+ communities can maintain emotional intimacy while separated due to military deployments.
It is essential to understand what makes military separation difficult for LGBTQ+ couples. Unlike heterosexual partnerships, same-sex ones do not have the option of physical touch, which can be an important way to express love and affection.
Some aspects of military culture may make it more difficult for LGBTQ+ individuals to feel comfortable discussing their sexuality, leading to isolation within a traditionally heteronormative environment. These factors contribute to the need for alternative strategies for maintaining closeness during extended absences.
One strategy is to communicate regularly through phone calls, text messages, video chats, emails, and letters. This allows couples to stay connected and share updates about daily life. It also provides an opportunity to talk about personal issues and provide support and encouragement.
One couple used video chat to play games together, such as Scrabble, which helped them feel closer despite the distance.
Another approach is to plan activities for when reunions occur.
A couple could go on a date night once per week at the beginning of the deployment, then increase this frequency until the reunion arrives. They might take turns planning fun activities like cooking together or watching movies. In addition to providing distraction and bonding time, these dates can help keep up with shared interests, which are critical in sustaining intimacy over long periods.
Some LGBTQ+ couples seek out support groups for military families to connect with others facing similar challenges. Groups may offer emotional and practical guidance, providing resources and advice on navigating deployments. Connecting with other queer couples can also help build a sense of community and belonging, which can alleviate loneliness.
LGBTQ+ couples should consider open communication about expectations before deployment begins. Discuss how often you will check-in, what topics are off-limits, and any boundaries around physical contact while apart. Be explicit about what you each need from the relationship, including sexual intimacy, to avoid misunderstandings later.
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What mechanisms allow LGBT couples to maintain intimacy during extended deployments?
LGBT couples may develop intimacy while deployed through various ways such as sending letters, emails, text messages, phone calls, videos, photos, and virtual dates. Additionally, they may communicate with their partners about daily activities and emotions through social media platforms. By doing so, both partners feel closer despite geographical distance and gain an understanding of each other's lives.