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MAINTAINING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY IN RELATIONSHIPS DESPITE COPING STRATEGIES: TIPS FOR PARTNERS OF MILITARY VETERANS

Emotional intimacy is an essential part of a successful relationship.

Maintaining it can be challenging for people who have experienced traumatic events such as military service. Soldiers often use strategies like selective disclosure or emotional compartmentalization to cope with their experiences. This means they may choose what they share about their feelings and thoughts with their partners and keep some parts hidden away. These strategies can make it hard for partners to fully understand and connect with each other emotionally. In this article, we will discuss how partners can maintain emotional intimacy when soldiers' coping strategies involve selective disclosure or emotional compartmentalization.

It's crucial for partners to establish clear communication channels. They should talk openly and honestly about their needs, desires, and expectations from the relationship. Partners must also avoid assumptions and accusations regarding their partner's feelings and experiences. When discussing sensitive topics related to military service, partners should show understanding and empathy. Asking questions that encourage conversation can help facilitate these discussions.

"Can you tell me more about your experience in combat?" or "How did that affect you emotionally?" can create space for sharing without forcing a soldier to reveal too much.

Another way to maintain emotional intimacy is to take time to reconnect physically. Physical touch can help release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which promotes feelings of closeness and trust. Touches like holding hands, cuddling, or massage can provide comfort and support. Partners should be sensitive to their partner's boundaries but still seek out physical contact. Some couples might find creative ways to stay connected physically if one partner is deployed or on duty, such as sending care packages or scheduling virtual date nights.

Emotional intimacy requires effort from both partners. While soldiers may struggle to share their inner thoughts and feelings, partners can offer unconditional love and support. This means not trying to fix problems or offer solutions but simply being present and listening attentively. It also involves affirmation and appreciating each other's uniqueness. This can include praise or acknowledgment of small gestures, such as cooking dinner or helping with household chores. Partners should express gratitude for what their partner does well, even when it seems trivial.

Creating shared interests and experiences can strengthen emotional bonds between partners. This could involve taking classes together, traveling, or engaging in new hobbies. Participating in activities outside the relationship allows partners to connect on different levels and develop a common ground beyond military life. Doing things that challenge themselves can promote growth and vulnerability, building closer ties over time.

Maintaining emotional intimacy in relationships where one partner uses selective disclosure or compartmentalization requires patience, understanding, and effort. By establishing clear communication channels, seeking physical connection, offering support and appreciation, and sharing new experiences, partners can deepen their bond and create a strong foundation for their future together. Remember, every relationship is unique, and what works for some may not work for others; partners must be willing to experiment and adapt to find what works best for them.

How do partners maintain emotional intimacy when soldiers' coping strategies involve selective disclosure or emotional compartmentalization?

Partners can maintain emotional intimacy with their soldier loved ones by providing emotional support, listening actively, and being empathetic towards their feelings. They should be patient and understanding when they are not open about their experiences during deployment. Partners can also encourage their soldier loved one to talk about their feelings gradually and seek professional help if necessary.

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